


Basking In Your Glory

by kirksbones



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Kink, Dom Spock (Star Trek), Dom/sub, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Older Spock (Star Trek), Power Dynamics, Smut, Star Trek: AOS, Starfleet Academy, Student Jim, Sub Jim, Sugar Daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29033799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirksbones/pseuds/kirksbones
Summary: Jim Kirk is joking when he tells Bones he's getting a sugar daddy to help put him through the academy. Definitely joking.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 31
Kudos: 146





	1. an introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a sugar daddy au fic with Jim as a sugar baby and Spock as a sugar daddy. Jim is 21 here, with Spock being 31. Jim is a student at Starfleet Academy and Spock is a very successful scientist and businessman who contributes greatly to financially to Starfleet Academy. 
> 
> Any Vulcan translations will be available at the end.

Jim's knee bounced rapidly under the white tablecloth. He reached for the glass of ice water on the table and chugged the last of it.

He thought about getting up and bolting for the door. He could see the door from his table. He could probably avoid the waitress and the hostess up front if he beelined.

Why was he doing this again?

The conversation had come up the previous week with Bones and Gaila. They were lounging in his and Bones' shared dorm, books and PADDs spread out as they attempted to study for their upcoming biomechanics exam. Bones was really the only one going over his notes. Jim and Gaila were busy online shopping and gossiping about the guys in their academy year.

\---

"What do you think about that guy, Sulu? The guy in our ship navigating course?" Jim pondered.

Gaila sighed. "He's cute, but not my type. Why, you interested?"

Jim shrugged. "I've thought about it."

"I'm more into guys that are... a little /older/ these days." Gaila responded with a slight giggle.

Jim raised himself up from where he was sprawled out across his dorm bed to smirk at her. "Oh, I see, you're trying to get into Captain Pike's pants."

Gaila gagged and pantomimed vomiting onto Bones' bed that she was currently resting on. "Jim, that's disgusting. No, I just mean like guys that have actual jobs and stuff. These guys here at Starfleet, they just want to mess around. Nothing serious. Older guys, though? They're serious; committed. Besides, they have like actual money." She extended her arm and waved it around in Jim's face. Hanging off her wrist was a silver chain link bracelet. "My latest conquest bought me this."

Jim reached out and held her wrist in his hand. He examined the bracelet closely, but before he could comment, Bones interrupted them from where he was sitting in front of his PADD at his desk. "Do you two mind? Some of us actually care about our education here."

Jim and Gaila both snorted, but silently returned to their own studying.

Later that night, as Jim and Bones were sat in the dorm cafeteria with two trays of burgers and fries in front of them, Jim brought up the earlier conversation with Gaila.

"You think Gaila was being serious earlier?"

Bones took a swig of his soda. "Being serious about what?"

"The whole older guys who spoil her thing."

Bones sighed audibly and gave Jim a pointed look. "You're not seriously thinking about getting a sugar daddy, are you, Jim?"

"A what?"

That got him an eye roll. "You're not familiar with the term sugar daddy?"

Jim shook his head and popped a ketchup dipped fry into his mouth.

"A sugar daddy is like some older guy who pays you to, ya know.." Bones made a vague gesture with his hand.

Jim cocked his head to the side, before realization dawned. "Oh my god, You mean like a prostitute?"

"I guess that's one way of putting it," Bones replied. 

Jim sat pondering this for a moment as he dug into his burger. How bad could a sugar daddy really be? He had sex, a decent amount of it actually. And he could see his Starfleet tuition bills rising up in the back of his mind. Would it be so bad to date a guy for money? Suck it up and sleep with him in exchange for cash and silver chain link bracelets? It wouldn't be the most morally questionable thing he'd done.

Bones noticed him deep in thought and cut in. "Come on, Jim. You're not really going to do something like this, are you? You know I have no problem helping you with your finances."

This was true. Bones had been a great help in helping Jim to afford his housing and Starfleet supply payments. Winona Kirk wasn't exactly overflowing with cash, and God knows Jim didn't have time to look for a job with his course load. Bones came from a well off family, and had earned some decent money in his divorce, so he was happy to help his friend and roommate out with whatever he needed. Still, Jim felt bad to be such a burden to his best friend.

Jim sighed and offered Bones a reassuring smile. "I was just messing with you, Bonesy. I have /some/ morals." He stole a couple fries off Bones' tray for good measure.

Yet that night, as Bones snored rather loudly in his bed just a few feet away from him, Jim was on his PADD looking for potential suitors. He figured searching "sugar daddies near me" was a good place to start. He found himself on a site called spoilyousugar.net. He turned quickly to make sure Bones was still sleeping soundly, before clicking the link and scrolling through the profiles.

\-----  
And that's how he found himself here, shaking nervously and rapidly drinking the refills of water the waitress kept bringing him.  
He couldn't have been more out of place. The restaurant his potential suitor had asked to meet him at was one he had never been before. Taking one look around, it was clear why. Everyone around him was clad in designer clothing, laughing at each other over wine that probably cost more than anything Jim had ever owned. Jim was sure that even Bones would be struggling to pick up the check here. He took a look down at himself, dressed in the nicest clothing he had been able to steal from Bones' closet. This was a bad idea. He looked up to the restaurant door, intending to analyze his exit route, but his line of sight was cut off by a tall figure entering the frame.

Standing above Jim was a tall, pale, dark haired man. His ears were pointed. He was Vulcan. As Jim's eyes rose up to his face, he saw that the man was quite handsome. He gave Jim a small attempt at a smile.  
"James Kirk, I take it?" He asked. His voice was rich. He spoke slowly and directly. This is something Jim should have assumed given his research of Vulcans. He had never met one himself though. He didn't recall any mention of the man's Vulcan identity on his profile.

"Please call me Jim. You're Mr. Spock?" His voice came out a lot softer than he intended.

"Please call me Spock," The man replied. He looked down at Jim. "May I sit?"

Jim nodded. Spock pulled out the chair across from him and took a seat. He removed the long black coat he wore and hung it swiftly on the back of his chair. He leaned back in it slightly, eyes scanning Jim up and down. Jim stared nervously somewhere over Spock's shoulder. Spock was about to speak, when the waitress arrived.

"Can I get you gentlemen anything other than water?"

Spock didn't respond. Jim realized he was watching him expectantly, waiting for Jim to answer the question.

"Oh, um, I'm good with water. Thank you," He stuttered.

Spock gave him a slight smilebefore turning to the waitress with a charming look in his eye. "If I could have a glass of merlot, please? And Jim, were you ready to order your food?"

In Jim's nervous frenzy he hadn't taken any time to look over the menu the hostess had placed in front of him when he first sat down. He opened it and ordered the first thing he saw on it. 

Spock placed his order next, though Jim didn't really register what he'd said. The waitress gathered their menus and left them alone again.

Jim wasn't sure how to initiate conversation. He was feeling awkwardness and regret. Maybe he should've listened to Bones about this. Spock was just eyeing him. 

Finally, the Vulcan spoke.

"I sense that you're nervous, Jim. There is no reason to be. I gather this is your first time attempting an arrangement like this?" He spoke with such certainty that Jim wasn't even sure he was being asked a question. Still, Spock stared at his face, waiting for an answer. 

Jim simply nodded his head.

Spock really smiled then, leaning forward slightly onto the table.

"I'll repeat that there is nothing to be nervous about, Jim. It is reasonable to be anxious about meeting someone for the first time. Especially in a situation like this. Would it make you more comfortable if I told you some about myself?"

Jim wasn't sure, but he nodded nonetheless.

"My name is Spock. As you can well see, I am of Vulcan descent. My father is Vulcan, my mother is his human mate."

Spock was half-human, half-Vulcan? That interested Jim, but he didn't want to interrupt so he just nodded more as Spock kept speaking.

"I graduated from Starfleet Academy seven years ago. Since then, I've developed my own research company. We've had numerous successful experiments over the last few years."

"I go to Starfleet," Jim said softly. He then regretted it. Would that be weird to Spock? Dating a college student when he was already such a well established scientist? Jim knew he looked younger, but he could pass for 25 if need be.

But Spock didn't seem deterred. He just quirked a playful eyebrow. "What do you study at Starfleet, Jim?"

"Engineering." Jim replied.

"Very interesting."

Before the conversation could go further, the waitress arrived with their plates of food. Spock had ordered some vegetable dish that Jim couldn't quite make out. Jim had apparently ordered some salmon with some potatoes. He wasn't big on fish, but he deemed it rude not to eat, so he forced a forkful into his mouth.

Both men were quiet as they ate and Spock sipped his wine. When Jim ate all he could of the salmon and finished the potatoes, he lightly set his fork down and tapped his foot gently as he waited for Spock to speak again. He took the time to look Spock up and down as subtly as possible. Spock was dressed much nicer than Jim, in a white shirt buttoned all the way up and a black jacket over it. Jim simply had a Polo shirt he had stolen from Bones. Spock placed a final bite of food into his mouth and wiped his hands politely on the napkin in his lap. 

"Jim, I hope you forgive my bluntness, but Vulcans believe in speaking directly. We both have sought out this particular dynamic to fulfill our own personal needs, whether they be emotional, physical, financial. There is no need to hide that. I will be taking from you, but I will also be giving. You will be taking from me, but you will also be giving. That is the arrangement you had in mind when you made plans to meet me tonight, is it not?"

Jim nodded once more. He felt dumb for his lack of verbal communication, but he didn't trust his voice with the Vulcan's charming dark eyes staring directly into his.

"Very well, then. Before we make future arrangements, could you describe yourself to me briefly, Jim? Just so I could know what I'm getting into, as you humans might say." He looked kindly at Jim. Jim was embarrassingly charmed by him.

He gathered his voice. "My name is Jim Kirk. I'm 21. I'm at Starfleet Academy getting an engineering degree, but you know that. My dad died before I was born, and my mom pretty much raised me on her own in Iowa. We got just enough money to move to San Francisco so I could study here. My best friend is my roommate Bones, he's a medical officer; he wants to become a ship doctor. If I could do anything with my life, I would be a ship captain. My dad was."

Jim felt like he had already spoken for too long, but Spock was looking at him as though he expected more.

Jim cleared his throat slightly and said, "I guess the reason I've... sought out this arrangement is because I need some help. Financially. And I figured I could hopefully, um, offer some help to you too. You know." He blushed furiously at that. God, why was this so awkward to him, but Spock seemed completely unaffected?

Spock chuckled quietly. "You are quite appealing when you blush like that, Jim."

That only caused the reddening on his cheeks to deepen. 

Before Spock could fluster him further, the waitress arrived to take away the empty plates and drop off the check. Jim reached into his pants pocket for his wallet, but Spock waved a dismissive hand at him. 

"Spock, I can-"

"No worries, Jim. I will handle it." He folded a credit card into the check and handed it to the waitress, who smiled politely and hurried off with it.

"Thank you, Spock," Jim mumbled. "You didn't have to do that. I haven't done anything for you."

"Nonsense," Spock replied. "You have given me the pleasure of your company tonight. And that is more than enough payment."

The waitress returned with the check, and thanked Spock repeatedly for the tip. He simply nodded at her. Once she was gone, Spock looked at Jim once more. "Jim, is there anything you would like to ask? About myself or this arrangement?"

Jim hesitated. He had one question on the forefront of his mind, but he thought it might be rude. Spock had been so kind to him tonight; he didn't want to offend the man. His mouth usually had a way of getting him into trouble.

Spock noticed his hesitation and said, "If you are afraid of offending me with your questions, that's quite illogical. As Vulcans are taught to speak the truth, we are not easily upset when someone asks for it from us."

Jim sighed and mustered up the courage to ask, "Why exactly are you-um.. seeking me out? I mean, you're rich and handsome and smart. I wouldn't imagine you have to pay people to date you."

Spock genuinely did chuckle at that. Jim quirked an eyebrow. "Jim, you are correct in your assumption that it is not difficult for me to find partners who are interested in pursuing a relationship of romantic nature with me. However, a relationship for a Vulcan is very different from a relationship for a human. There are certain rules, certain customs. In my field, there are many instances in which I find myself needing companionship more for image than for my own desires. Additionally, given Vulcan sexual customs, it is nice to have the company of a casual sexual partner for certain periods of time. For these reasons, I find myself pursuing the very dynamic which we are here to discuss. Is this understandable to you?"

Jim took a moment to respond. He was sitting there taking in all that Spock had just said. So he was being hired to be arm candy, and to have some casual sex? it wouldn't be the worst job he'd ever had. He composed himself enough to give Spock a quiet, "I understand."

Spock nodded. "Is there anything else you would like to know tonight, Jim?"

There were probably a thousand questions Jim could've asked, but he felt guilty for already occupying so much of this important man's evening. He shook his head.

"Very well then," Spock said as he gathered the trench coat he had placed on the back of his chair and put his arms through it. Jim felt small wearing only Bones' Polo shirt and pair of tan khakis. 

Spock didn't leave immediately though. He reached into the trench coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Would you?" He asked, holding his free hand out onto the table. Jim was confused at first, but quickly picked up on it and reached a hand out to intertwine with Spock's.

"I would very much like to see you again this weekend. There is a charity event I must go to with some colleagues of mine. I request your presence. That is, if you are interested in pursuing our arrangement."

"I'm interested," Jim said, because nodding didn't feel like enough of a response in this situation.

Spock eyes twinkled slightly at that. "I'm very glad to hear that, Jim. I would like you to buy yourself something nice for the occasion. It will be a strict black tie dress code." In his defense, Spock hid any judgement in his eyes as he looked at Jim's best attempt at dressing nicely.

"I'll see what I can do, Spock, but I really don't have the-"

Spock cut him off by placing the envelope into his hand. "This should cover whatever you need. I'm sure there will be some left over, which you have permission to use at your discretion. I have your contact information from your profile. I will be in touch to receive your address and handle other formalities. Does this sound appealing to you, Jim?"

Jim was dumbfounded by the fact that he could feel multiple wads of thick bills in the envelope. Probably more money than he had ever seen in his life. He nodded. "Thank you, Spock."

Spock released his hand and left the envelope in it. He stood with a smile. "Thank you as well, Jim. I look forward to seeing you again. I believe this arrangement of ours will be most beneficial."

He didn't wait for acknowledgement from Jim. Jim assumed that was the end of their dinner. He rose to leave, but before he could do so, he was stopped by Spock blocking his pathway. The Vulcan took Jim's chin firmly in his hand and leaned in to place a gentle kiss to Jim's lips. Jim was so surprised he nearly jumped backwards. But he composed himself enough to press his lips softly back against Spock's.

Spock smirked down at him, rubbing a thumb over Jim's lips.

With that, he turned and briskly exited the way he came.

Jim was left standing in the middle of the restaurant holding an envelope full of God knows how much money.

He was so fucked.

And Bones was so going to kill him.


	2. new encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is forced to come clean to Bones about his dinner with Spock, takes a trip to the tailor, and attempts to keep his head on his shoulders for his first outing with the Vulcan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support on the first chapter. I will try to upload a couple chapters a week. I'm not sure exactly how many this will be, but I'm imagining somewhere in the ballpark of five or six.
> 
> Just an FYI: There is smut in this chapter so be prepared for that. And probably be prepared for some smut in all future chapters.

Jim was grateful that Bones was out when he arrived back at their dorm that night. There was no way he would be able to keep it cool under his best friend's stern gaze.

He quickly stripped himself of the clothes he borrowed, hung them neatly back in Bones' closet, and hopped into the tiny shower of their shared bathroom. As the water flowed over him, he thought. What was he really getting himself into? Spock was handsome and charming. He had been very polite during their entire encounter and had footed the bill for Jim's half eaten salmon. Of course, what lay in Jim's future was much more than polite conversation and expensive dinner. He would be having to play Spock's arm candy at big name events. And well, Jim had barely gotten to the sex part of the arrangement. He shuddered slightly, and quickly scrubbed himself down with soap and water before he could think enough about it to need to spend some alone time in the shower.

He turned the water off once he was done and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist as he went to search for some clothes of his own to throw on. Walking out, he saw Bones had returned. He was propped up against the pillow on his bed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants, flipping through a paperback. He raised an eyebrow at Jim. "Where'd you go off to tonight?"

Jim didn't answer him immediately. He found his own pair of sweats from his closet and returned to the bathroom to put them on. He didn't bother with boxer shorts. He leaned against the frame of the bathroom door, drying his damp hair with the towel as he spoke to Bones.

"Just out for a bite."

"Alone?" Bones asked.

Jim nodded. He finished drying his hair and threw the towel in the hamper in the corner of the room. He plopped down onto his own bed, laying on his back with his hands folded across his stomach.

"Hm. You didn't think to invite me?" Bones pressed further.

Jim shrugged. "Figured we could use some time apart. Don't want us becoming codependent."

Bones snorted.

He didn't question Jim further, and Jim assumed that was the end of the conversation. He grabbed his comm off the desk and scrolled through some messages he had from Gaila about a movie she wanted to see this weekend, and some from Chekov demanding his assistance on their upcoming group physics project. Once he had responded to all of them, he tossed his comm onto his backpack and prepared to get under the covers to sleep. Before he could do so, however, Bones pointed to something poking out of his bag.

"What's that?"

Jim raised himself up onto the bed. "What's what?"

Bones extended his leg from his own bed and prodded the envelope poking out of Jim's bag with his foot. 

Shit.

"Um, a letter from my mom?" He tried.

Bones glared at him. "People still write letters these days?"

Jim nodded, hoping Bones would drop it. Of course, he didn't.

Before Jim could react, Bones was off his bed and onto the floor, yanking the envelope from Jim's bag. "Hey, give that back!" He yiped, diving off his own bed for it. Bones easily shoved him aside and hurried to the corner of the room to open it.

He stared inside it in awe. "Holy shit, Jim. Where did you get cash like this?"

Jim blushed and said nothing from where he was still sat on the floor.

Bones stared at him. "Seriously, kid. There's no way this is from a part time job. Or your mom."

Jim just fiddled with his hands in his lap, refusing to make eye contact.

Realization dawned on Bones. "Oh god, Jim. You didn't do what I think you did, did you?"

"It's none of your business," Jim retorted. It came out a lot snappier than he intended, and he was quick to apologize. "Look, I'm sorry, but could we just not make a big deal out of it?"

Bones' expression softened but it was clear he was still pretty upset. He hadn't set down the envelope of cash yet. He looked through it once more, shaking his head in disbelief at the hefty bills in it. Jim forced himself back up onto his bed and sat off the side of it with his feet planted on the floor. To his surprise, Bones came to sit next to him, cash still in hand.

"Look, I'm not your parent or anything, Jim. I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't know how legitimate all this sugar daddy stuff is. I don't want some old guy to take advantage of you or something, y'know?" Bones' voice had changed from lecture mode to concerned papa bear. Jim managed a small smile at that.

"I'm a big boy, Bones. I'm not gonna get taken advantage of."

"You don't know that." Bones countered. His expression had gotten stern again. He felt around in the envelope once more. "I mean, Jesus Jim, what could you have done tonight to get a paycheck like this?"

"Had dinner," Jim replied quietly.

Bones' eyebrow shot up at that. "All you did was have dinner with this guy?"

Jim nodded. "Well it's actually money to buy a suit. He wants me to go to some event with him this weekend. He said I could keep whatever I don't spend on the suit."

"So you're seeing this guy again, then?"

Jim nodded.

Bones sighed and placed a hand on Jim's shoulder. "You know I can't stop you when you make your mind up about something. Can you at least tell me what Mr. Sugar Daddy's name is?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Spock."

"Spock? Weird name."

"He's half-Vulcan."

"You don't say," Bones muttered.

Neither of them said anything for a moment; just sat on the edge of Jim's bed. Finally, Bones placed the envelope into Jim's hand. He got up to return to his own bed. He glanced briefly over at Jim, but just sighed and shook his head. With that, he flicked off the light of his desk lamp and both men climbed quietly under their respective comforters.

\-------

It was a relief to see that Bones had already left to start his day when Jim woke up the next morning. He knew that Bones was just looking out for him, but he could only take so much of that concerned gaze at once. He got up and got dressed into his academy uniform, gathered his backpack with Spock's cash envelope zipped inside, and hurried down to the cafeteria for breakfast. 

Most of Jim's day was mundane. He got through his lectures, worked on his project with Chekov, sat through Captain Pike's mentoring lesson, and joined Gaila for lunch. Truthfully, all that was on his mind was Spock. Every time he picked up his backpack it felt as if the cash Spock had given him was burning a hole through it. He attempted to be mentally present for his responsibilities of the day, but it was a struggle.

When he was finally able to get back to his dorm and have some time alone before Bones finished his shift at the hospital, he pulled out his PADD to start looking for a tailor. He had never been to one before. He was pretty sure the last time he had worn a suit was for his cousin's wedding when he was ten. His mom had just thrifted it from somewhere. Jim didn't find himself needing to dress nice very often, so he actually had no idea where to start. He found what looked like a high end tailor downtown and called the number listed.

Bones arrived at the dorm shortly afterwards. He looked tired from his shift, and said little to Jim as he showered and changed into his night clothes. Jim hoped this tension wouldn't go on forever.

\------  
If Jim had felt out of place in the restaurant, he was out of this universe in the tailors.

He stood alone in the middle of the shop, wearing only his Starfleet hoodie, a pair of joggers, and his backpack slung over one shoulder. Surrounding him were mannequins wearing suits that probably cost more than Jim's mother's house. He recalled that Spock had said it would be black tie formal. He figured the safest bet would be to just get a simple black suit. He barely got more than a few feet into the shop when a salesman approached him, dressed in similar luxury clothing to the models surrounding him.

"Is there something I can help you with, young man?" The salesman sounded suspicious, like he thought Jim was just some punk who snuck into the luxury shopping district. Jim couldn't really blame him for that assumption.

"Um, I'm looking for a suit. Preferably something black and white," He replied shakily.

The salesman looked him up and down, the judgment clear on his face. Jim wished Spock were here with him. The Vulcan had been much more understanding of Jim's clothing situation. He was certain the salesman wouldn't be giving him such a hard time if he knew who was paying for his suit today.

"I'm not sure we have... what you're looking for," The salesman said slowly. It's clear that what he really meant was _I'm not sure we have what you can afford. ___

__Jim resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead reached into his backpack. He had moved the money Spock gave him over into his wallet so it looked less suspicious. It was more than his wallet had ever held, and the numerous bills were pushing at the seams of the black faux leather. He opened it just enough for the salesman to see exactly how much was in there. It was as if a switch had gone off, and the salesman's expression suddenly turned a lot nicer._ _

__"Right this way, young man," His tone of voice was much more pleasant. "I believe we have something that would work well for you."_ _

__Jim allowed himself to be escorted onto a platform surrounded by mirrors. There, he had his shoulders, chest, waist, and legs measured by an older woman he assumed was the shop's seamstress. The suit that the salesman had picked out for him to have tailored was a simple black jacket with black pants, a white collared shirt, and a black tie. It reminded Jim of the outfit Spock had worn to dinner, so he assumed it would be appropriate. He doubted he would look nearly as charming in it. He felt awkward as the seamstress finished measuring him and held up various pieces of fabric as he stared at himself in the mirrors. He had to admit, he did look nice._ _

__When all was said and done, Jim ended up spending $2,000 on the suit he had gotten. He nearly choked on his spit when the salesman rang him up for it, but he was even more shocked to see how much cash he had left after handing over enough of Spock's money to pay the bill. The salesman thanked him for the business, and assured him that his suit would be ready by Thursday. Jim thanked him and hurried out._ _

__\------_ _

__The next week was a blur. Jim's mind was seldom occupied by anything but Spock. He was waiting anxiously for some kind of communication so he could know when and where he was supposed to be this weekend._ _

__He forced himself to be present in the week's responsibilities, including presenting his project alongside Chekov and doing ship maintenance under Pike's watchful eye. Things were still awkward between him and Bones, but his roommate had finally asked him to accompany him for dinner in the cafeteria Wednesday night. They sat quietly for a while as they munched on the pizza they had decided to share._ _

__Finally, after a rather large bite of pepperoni, Bones spoke. "I'm sorry if I was harsh on you the other night."_ _

__"It's fine, Bones," Jim said. "You don't have to apologize."_ _

__"I want to. I know I'm a little bit older than you, but I'm still not your parent. You're an adult, You can make your own decisions. And if seeing this Speck guy is good for you then so be it."_ _

__Jim stifled a laugh. "His name is Spock."_ _

__Bones shot him a glare. "You know what I mean."_ _

__Jim did laugh then. "Yeah, you're right, I do. Thanks, Bones." He took another bite of pizza, and at that moment, his comm vibrated. It was an unknown contact. He held it to his ear._ _

__"Hello?"_ _

__"Jim?" It was Spock._ _

__Jim nearly choked on the bite of cheese in his mouth. Bones raised an eyebrow at him, but Jim shot him a look that roughly translated to, _please just shut up for the next five minutes _. Bones raised his hands in defense and continued his meal.___ _

____"Uh, yes, hi Spock," Jim stuttered out. God, he had only had one conversation with the man and he was already acting like he was in grade school talking to his first crush. At the mention of Spock's name, Bones leaned forward onto the table, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. Jim leaned further back in his chair, holding his comm so it was angled away from Bones' ears._ _ _ _

____"How are you this evening, Jim?" Spock asked._ _ _ _

____"I'm good, thank you. How are you?"_ _ _ _

____"I'm well, thank you for your concern. I'm calling to inform you of the details of this weekend, is now an appropriate time for you?"_ _ _ _

____"Uh, yeah, yeah now's fine."_ _ _ _

____"Wonderful. I assume you made a trip to the tailors?"_ _ _ _

____"Yes, I did. Thank you again for the suit."_ _ _ _

____"You are welcome, Jim. The charity gala is this Saturday. We are raising money for some upcoming student research products. The gala begins at 8, and I will be expected to arrive punctually. Are you available at this time?"_ _ _ _

____"Yes," Jim replied._ _ _ _

____"I am glad to hear so. My driver will be glad to escort us there. I will arrive at your dormitory around 7:30 pm, if you would give me the address now."_ _ _ _

____Jim nearly gulped at that. He could only imagine what Spock's home looked like, and he would be mortified to have the wealthy man arrive at his rather close quarters._ _ _ _

____"Spock, you don't have to pick me up. I can meet you there."_ _ _ _

____"Nonsense. It is more reasonable that we drive together."_ _ _ _

____"Um, alright. If you insist." Jim proceeded to give Spock the address to his dorm. Across the table, Bones was looking at him with raised eyebrows. Jim threw a piece of pizza crust at him._ _ _ _

____"Thank you, Jim. I hope you have had a pleasant week. I will see you this Saturday at 7:30. Goodnight."_ _ _ _

____Spock ended the call before Jim could respond. He set his comm down on the table and attempted to gather his thoughts._ _ _ _

____"Sounds like someone has a Vulcan sugar daddy date in their future," Bones interjected with a smirk._ _ _ _

____Jim glowered at him. "Weren't you the one who was against this in the first place?"_ _ _ _

____Bones shrugged and ate the crust that Jim had thrown at him. "Well, you've already chosen to go this far. Might as well have some fun with it."_ _ _ _

____\-----_ _ _ _

____Saturday came much quicker than Jim had anticipated. For all the time during the week he had spent thinking about this night, Jim was almost feeling regretful now that it was finally here._ _ _ _

____He sat on his bed, tapping his foot on the ground anxiously. He had managed to get himself into his suit, though it was much more of a challenge than he would care to admit. Bones had gone out for an early dinner with Sulu, and Jim hoped that he wouldn't return before Jim left. He was already blushing at the thought of anyone else at the academy seeing him dressed like this. He glanced at the alarm clock on his desk. 7:15 pm. Spock would be here in 15 minutes. He figured he might as well go out and wait on the curb. Something told him Spock was very serious about punctuality, and he was sure it would be a disappointment for Jim to be late getting into the car._ _ _ _

____As he opened the door to exit, Bones was standing in it. Great._ _ _ _

____He expected his best friend to burst into laughter at the sight of him, but Bones simply reached up to straighten Jim's tie and said, "Knock 'em dead, kid." He slid past Jim to enter the dorm, shutting the door behind him and leaving Jim out in the hall. Jim just grinned and shook his head in disbelief, heading out to wait for Spock._ _ _ _

____\--------_ _ _ _

____Spock was indeed prompt. Jim got out onto the curb by 7:22, and a shiny, black town car was already waiting. Jim swallowed the lump in his throat and approached the vehicle. As he did so, the driver exited and hurried around to the passenger side to open the door for Jim with a bow. The driver was rather tall and muscular, and Jim assumed he served as security for Spock to some extent as well. Jim awkwardly nodded at him in thanks and climbed into the car._ _ _ _

____Spock was sitting behind the driver's seat. His hair was neatly done as it had been the first night Jim met him. He was wearing a similar suit to Jim's, though his jacket and pants were gray. Jim was right when he had thought he wouldn't look nearly as charming as Spock. He found himself already blushing at how attractive the Vulcan in the car next to him looked._ _ _ _

____Spock glanced over at him as he buckled his seatbelt. "That suit is very visually appealing, Jim."_ _ _ _

____Jim assumed that was Vulcan speak for, _that suit looks nice on you _"Thank you." He was quick to respond.___ _ _ _

______Spock simply nodded at him, and turned to stare out the window._ _ _ _ _ _

______Most of the drive was quiet. The driver had some classical music playing faintly on the radio. Spock spent most of his time gazing out the window, while Jim opted to stare down at his hands in his lap. They were driving into a downtown area, going slightly further than where Jim had gotten his suit tailored. It was here that Jim turned to look out his own window. he stared in amazement at the heights of the buildings. This area was beautifully lit up at night. He had never been here before, and was in awe at the sheer beauty that architecture could have. Spock seemed to notice his admiration._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You have never been to this area before, Jim?" It was more a statement than a question, but Jim nodded his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______Spock hummed. "You will find yourself in many beautiful areas over the course of our arrangement. You should accustom yourself to it."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jim shot him a slightly bewildered look, but quickly turned back away. The driver made a turn. They arrived at a large venue. It looked almost like a castle; like something Jim would see in one of Bones' old medieval movies. He couldn't help his mouth falling slightly open at the sight. Spock's eyes were on him. He turned to meet them. The Vulcan was looking at him with what appeared to be a hint of fondness in his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I suppose I should explain to you what your duty will be here tonight," he started. Jim watched him, listening expectantly. "At events like this, it is usually expected for someone of my role to arrive with a date. That would be why you are here. Most of my colleagues and the donors here tonight will assume that we are romantically involved. Is this uncomfortable to you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jim shook his head. He hoped it didn't look too eager._ _ _ _ _ _

______Spock nodded and continued. "You won't have to make much conversation, just slight socializing. Introducing yourself, maybe some polite greetings. I will not be delivering a speech tonight, so I will not be the main focus. This should take some pressure off your shoulders as well. I simply ask that you stay near me tonight, and join me while I converse. You are welcome to whatever food and drink is offered. If you have any concerns or needs throughout our evening, I request that you voice them to me. Does this sound like something you are capable of?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jim nodded once more. Once again, he just never seemed to find his voice around Spock._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Very well then," Spock replied. "I do have a hotel reservation booked for this evening. I assumed because tomorrow is Sunday, this will not be an issue for your academics. Am I correct in this assumption?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jim gulped. Hotel meant sex. He knew that much. "Yes, that's correct," he replied quietly, feeling guilty for not giving Spock verbal affirmation throughout his instructions._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Excellent."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jim was too distracted listening to Spock that he hadn't noticed the driver parking the car. The door on his side opened, and the driver stepped to the side with a gesture of his arm to signal Jim to exit. Jim quickly did so, standing awkwardly beside the car as he waited for Spock to join him. The Vulcan did so quickly, nodding at the driver in thanks. He held an arm out to Jim._ _ _ _ _ _

______:"Would you mind?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shakily, Jim reached his own arm out and looped it through Spock's. Spock gave him a pleased look, and the two went inside._ _ _ _ _ _

______\-------_ _ _ _ _ _

This was definitely not Jim's worst Saturday night.

He had spent most of the evening so far quietly attached to Spock's arm as his companion made his way around the large room, talking to various colleagues. Jim had absolutely no idea what any of them were talking about. It was all either related to their work or conversation about the personal lives of people Jim had never met. His job was easy enough. He had just had to politely smile and nod when Spock introduced him to various people. Most of them acknowledged him quickly and dove into whatever conversation they had approached Spock for. Jim caught some of their eyes lingering on him, though, and had to fight to hide the blush creeping onto his cheeks as he stared down at his shoes and sipped lightly on the glass of champagne Spock had provided him.

Jim wasn't even sure how much time had passed when Spock had escorted him to the corner of the room. Looking around, Jim was sure they had engaged in conversation with nearly every person in there. 

"How are you feeling, Jim?" Spock asked him.

"Good." Jim replied simply. It wasn't a lie. Despite the initial anxiety, he felt he had slipped into the role of rentboy rather easily. He hoped Spock felt the same way.

Spock nodded at him. "I am quite pleased with you, Jim. You have served as a nice companion this evening."

Jim couldn't fight the blush at that praise. He looked shyly down at the ground once more. "Thank you."

Long, delicate fingers reached under his chin and pushed it gently upwards until Jim was looking into Spock's dark, brown eyes. They made eye contact for longer than comfortable, as Jim was unsure of what Spock's next move was going to be. Spock removed his fingers from his chin.

"You have beautiful eyes, Jim."

Jim couldn't believe he didn't explode on the spot in that moment. He felt lucky that he was slightly leaning into Spock, otherwise he's sure his knees would have buckled underneath him.

"Thank you, Spock."

Spock just nodded once more. He seemed to have the same habit as Jim; nodding rather than speaking aloud.

"Are you ready to go, Jim?"

"If you are," Jim said softly.

"I believe I am. This evening has gone quite well. We have been fortunate to raise more than enough money for future research ventures."

"I'm glad to hear that," Jim replied. He meant it. He was glad for Spock's success.

Spock gave him that same kind of a smile thing he always did. Jim assumed it was part of the whole half-human, half-Vulcan thing.

"I'm sure Raphael is waiting out front with the car ready." Spock said. Ah, Raphael must be the driver. Jim was glad to know his name so he could thank him properly.

"Would you mind if I used the restroom before we go? I'll be quick." Jim felt embarrassed to be asking for permission to go to the bathroom, but he still felt very unsure about how their dynamic worked. 

"Of course, Jim. Take your time. The nearest restroom is just around the corner from here. I will wait for you in the car if you are comfortable with that."

Jim nodded, "Thank you, Spock."

He hurried off to empty his bladder. He found the restroom quickly. He didn't want to keep Spock waiting. It was as he was washing his hands afterwards, staring at himself clad in the designer suit in the mirror, that he began to have second thoughts. He was really on his way to go have sex in a hotel room with a man he had met twice. He was certain he was going to get another hefty envelope of money afterwards. He felt dirty for a moment, but quickly shook it off. Even though he was getting paid for this, he was sure that Spock was much more of a class act than most of the people whose beds he'd fallen into over his life.

He quickly dried his hands on the towel and exited the bathroom. Before he could find the exit to join Spock in the car, he was cut off by the body of a woman.

She looked just a little older than Jim. She was really beautiful. She had dark skin, flowing black hair, and brown eyes. She was dressed in a long red evening gown with a string of pearls probably worth Jim's entire existence resting on her neck. And of course, Jim had just nearly knocked this woman over.

"I'm so sorry," he quickly ushered out. The woman just laughed softly at him.

"There's no need to be sorry," She said. She was staring at him intently. He felt rather uncomfortable under her gaze. She slightly raised an eyebrow at him. "You're with Spock?"

Shit. What was he supposed to say to this? Yes, technically, but mainly for the paycheck? Spock hadn't exactly coached him on how to refer to their relationship and no one else tonight had really asked.

He settled for his usual answer: a nod.

She smiled at him then, but it was the kind of smile that probably meant more harm than good. "I see. Well, I shouldn't be keeping you from him, should I?"

"Probably not," Jim managed to reply. 

"What was your name again?" She asked.

"Jim. Jim Kirk."

She didn't say anything for a minute. She just stood there, scanning his face. "Well, Jim Kirk, nice to meet you. I'm Uhura, a colleague of Spock's."

"You don't have a last name?" Shit. His mouth operating on its own accord again.

"Uhura is my last name."

"Oh." So no first name then, Jim thought. But he opted not to say that. "Well, I think Spock's waiting for me." 

"Yes, I'm sure he is. Have a good evening, Jim." With that, she walked past him and into the women's restroom.

He stood dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly composed himself and hurried off to meet Spock.

\-------

If Spock thought Jim took too long in the bathroom, he said nothing about it. He just nodded as Jim climbed into the seat next to him and gave Raphael an address.

Once more the drive was quiet. Spock was looking at something on his comm. Jim opted to just watch the buildings as they drove. The drive from the venue to the hotel was much shorter. Before he knew it, Raphael pulled into the valet area of a tall bronze building. Jim couldn't even count how many rooms there appeared to be; each one featuring a long balcony area and lit up with white lights. He could see a large pool and bar area around the side. He couldn't help the quiet "Holy shit" that escaped his mouth.

He turned quickly to apologize for his language to Spock, but the Vulcan beside him looked almost amused. "Would you like to go inside, Jim?"

"Please," Jim said. Once more, Raphael appeared to open the door and allowed Jim to exit. Spock followed. He didn't reach for Jim's arm this time.

They walked inside and the lobby was just as visually dazzling as the exterior. A large glass chandelier filled with colors of gold, silver, and bronze hung in the entryway, He would most definitely have to brag to Gaila about his stay here at some point. He followed Spock briskly past the front desk and to the golden elevators. Spock punched in the number of their floor. Floor 130. The highest one, it appeared. They were both quiet as they rode up, but Jim was too dazzled by the elevator's shiny interior to stare at his own feet.

The elevator dinged. Spock turned left as they exited, and walked all the way down the hallway. Jim trailed behind him, still looking dazzled at everything around him like he was a kid visiting a candy store for the first time. They arrived at the door at the very end. Spock reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a key which he promptly scanned on the door's lock. The door opened automatically, and Spock stepped aside and gestured for Jim to enter first. Jim nodded and hurried in.

The room was even more beautiful than anything Jim could have expected. It was a suite, and he assumed the largest one available in the hotel. There was a slightly smaller chandelier than the one in the lobby hanging in what appeared to be the living room area. There was a long, white couch, and a television screen that occupied most of the wall space mounted above the electronic fireplace. 

"Make yourself comfortable," Spock instructed. He entered the kitchen area of the suite. Jim noticed there was a long bar area with plenty of alcohol on the shelves behind it. Spock went to pour himself a drink. Jim wasn't even sure how to navigate a space as nice as this one. He was quick to remove his shoes, though, because he could hear his mother's voice in the back of his head lecturing him about getting dirt on the nice carpet. He carefully walked over the couch, taking a seat on the very edge. It was well known among his friends that he was a clutz, so he opted not to get _too _comfortable in the space. He couldn't imagine what the bill would be if he were to break something in here.__

__Spock appeared in front of him. He was holding a glass of what looked like bourbon in one hand and a clear glass in the other. He handed Jim the clear one. Jim took a sip. It was just water. Before he could appear confused, Spock explained, "It's best for you to remain lucid."_ _

__Oh. Right._ _

__"And not you?" Jim asked._ _

__Spock shook his head. "The Vulcan in me gives me a much higher alcohol tolerance. One glass will not affect my mental capacity."_ _

__Jim had a pun on the tip of his tongue about the Vulcan he wanted in him but he kept that one to himself._ _

__Spock said nothing for a while. He sat in the recliner near the couch and sipped his drink. Jim did the same, not allowing himself to lean too far back into the heavenly pillows on the couch he was sat upon. Finally, once they were both done with their drinks, Spock stood. He held his hand out for Jim's empty glass. Jim handed it to him with a quiet, "thanks." Spock went to place them in the sink, and Jim sat alone, tapping his foot once more._ _

__Spock returned, but he did not sit again._ _

__"Am I correct in my assumption that you are not a virgin?"_ _

__Jim's eyes shot up to him and his face reddened immediately. He had forgotten about the whole Vulcans-speak-bluntly thing. "Um, um... Yeah, yeah you're right." He stuttered out._ _

__Spock nodded. "I understand that given the dynamic of this relationship, this first sexual encounter may be uncomfortable for you. I intend to do everything I can to bring you enjoyment in it. But first, I should ask for your consent. Do you consent to having sexual relations with me, Jim?"_ _

__Jim almost choked on air. He was mortified to feel that he was already hardening in his pants. "Yes, I do," he said as quickly as possible. His gaze had quickly returned to the floor._ _

__"Very well," Spock said above him. Suddenly, Jim felt Spock's hands on his face once more. He tilted Jim's head upwards, cupping Jim's face with his hands. He leaned in and pressed their lips together. This time, Jim didn't pull back any. He leaned into it, kissing back. When the kiss began to deepen, Spock pushed him back into the couch pillows. He held one hand on Jim's chest and the other kept its grip on the side of Jim's face. Jim reached up to wrap his arms around Spock's neck. They continued like this for a moment, with Jim's cock beginning to strain against his slacks. He was certain that Spock could feel it as the Vulcan leaned over him. Finally, Spock pulled back._ _

__"I would like to take this to the bedroom."_ _

__Jim couldn't do anything but nod. He went to get up, but a firm hand pushed him back down. He was confused until he felt Spock's strong arms under him, lifting him up and carrying him bridal style into the bedroom of the suite. He dropped Jim down gently onto a bed that could've actually been a cloud. Jim propped himself up onto his elbows, watching as Spock removed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Jim went to undress himself, but Spock raised a hand._ _

__"I would prefer if you allowed me to do that part, Jim."_ _

__Jim shuddered and dropped his hands at his sides. He was disappointed when Spock didn't completely undress. Instead, the Vulcan climbed onto the bed on top of Jim. He removed Jim's jacket and lightly tossed it to the lounge chair in the corner of the room. Long, slender fingers moved to unbutton Jim's shirt. Jim helpfully pulled his arms out so Spock could slide the shirt off him easily and toss it over to join his jacket. Those same fingers undid the button and zipper on his pants, and Spock moved backwards to give Jim enough room to kick out of his pants. His breathing increased rapidly as Spock removed his boxers. His cock bounced against his stomach, already impossibly hard and leaking slightly onto his skin. He looked up to find Spock's dark eyes hungrily on him._ _

__Spock walked away for a moment, and reached into his jacket for something. It was a small bottle of lube. He stood in front of the bed, eyes raking Jim up and down. Jim shuddered under his intimidating gaze. Spock was quite tall, and he looked incredibly dominant standing over Jim. The fact that Jim was completely naked while Spock was fully clothed made him feel even more vulnerable._ _

"Move upwards," Spock instructed him. Jim was quick to obey, scooting backwards until he was basically sitting with his back pressed against the pillows on the bed. "Bend your knees." Jim did so, spreading his legs slightly and attempting to angle his hole towards Spock's view. He couldn't fight the shudder that overtook his body as Spock came closer, reaching out to stroke Jim's thighs. His hands roamed closely to Jim's balls, running down until they were spreading his cheeks. He blushed heavily at how nonchalant Spock was. It was as if he was just examining Jim's body. If it weren't for the rather impressive bulge tenting Spock's dress pants, Jim would wonder if he was even enjoying this. 

Finally, he heard the cap to the lube pop open. Spock squirted a generous amount onto Jim's hole and coated his long fingers with it. Jim would be lying if he said that he hadn't been staring at those fingers out of the corner of his eye for most of the night as Spock gripped his drink. Spock slid a single digit inside, and Jim whimpered. Jim wanted to look down and watch, but Spock was staring so intently at his face that he just couldn't bring his eyes down there. He stared upwards to the ceiling as Spock began to thrust his finger in and out lightly. Jim moaned rather loudly when it nudged his prostate.

"Look at me," Came Spock's commanding voice.

Jim's eyes snapped down to him. Spock's own pupils were dilated with lust. "Are you enjoying this, Jim?" He asked. God, Jim almost wanted to punch him at how casual he sounded for this entire encounter. "More, please," Jim whined. He was getting desperate and beginning to care less about how pathetic he sounded. 

Spock chuckled darkly at him. "I will take your request as confirmation of your enjoyment." With that, he slid another finger in alongside the first. He twisted them around, angling them just right. Jim was moaning pretty freely at this point. He held onto the bottom of his own thighs, pulling his legs upwards so Spock could have better access. "So helpful," Spock murmured, pressing a few gentle kisses to the inside of Jim's thigh.

"Spoooock," Jim whined. 

Spock raised an eyebrow at him, all innocence. "Is there something I can do for you, Jim?"

"More," Jim pleaded, whimpering yet again when Spock decided to turn the two fingers just right inside him.

"You're quite greedy, aren't you, Jim?" Spock chastised. Still, he slid a third finger in, working Jim open with ease.

Jim moaned at that and began thrusting himself down onto those slender fingers. Suddenly, Spock's hand stilled. Jim released the loudest whine yet at that.

"I asked you a question, Jim." Spock said. Jim met his gaze. Spock was looking at him intently, and Jim was certain the Vulcan had no intention of continuing until Jim answered him.

"Yes," he said quickly. His voice was shaky, out of breath. "I'm greedy. Please, Spock."

Spock smirked at him. His hand resumed action. He thrusted his fingers in and out quickly, turning them at just the right angle to nudge Jim's prostate every time. Jim was a moaning mess on the bed above him, trembling with every touch to that sweet spot inside him and moving his body rapidly to meet each thrust of Spock's fingers. Spock seemed content to just watch him fall apart. 

After a while, it became too much. "Spock," Jim gasped. "Spock, please, I'm going to come."

Spock twisted his hand deeper, forcing a loud groan out of Jim. "Can you come like this, Jim? Can you come from just my hand inside you?"

Jim cried out, attempting to shove himself as far down as he could onto Spock's hand. Spock stilled him by wrapping his free hand firmly around Jim's hip. "Jim, I believe we have discussed this already tonight," He said calmly. "I would like you to answer me when I ask you a question."

Jim nearly screamed at that. He was so close, and Spock had decided to still his hand again while he waited for a response. What was the question again? Where was he? He looked back down at Spock, trying to settle himself. He was distracted by the sight of his dick, hard and leaking against his stomach yet completely untouched. He hadn't even noticed.

Spock tsked at him. "Jim, I asked if you could come like this. From my fingers. Would you answer that for me, Jim?"

Jim's unfocused eyes met Spock's dark gaze once more. "Y-yes," he gasped out. "Yes. I can do whatever you want."

That got him a rather pleased look and a hum of approval from Spock. "You're so obedient, Jim. I am rather impressed with you. Come whenever you'd like." He resumed his assault on Jim's prostate. It only took a moment of the rapid thrusting and Spock's long fingers angled just right inside of him for Jim to come onto his stomach with a shout. Streaks of white reached up to his chest. He panted heavily, whimpering loudly as Spock worked him through it. Finally, the Vulcan slowly removed his fingers. He stood, staring hungrily down at Jim.

"You have made quite a mess, Jim." 

Jim was still struggling to refocus and catch his breath. It had been a while since he'd come just from penetration. Living in a small dorm with his best friend, he only had so much time to quickly jack off before Bones showed up to interrupt him. He looked down, seeing the ropes of white that painted his stomach and chest. He looked back up at Spock, eyes still wide.

"It would be rather impolite to not clean up after yourself." 

Jim's spent dick twitched at Spock's words. Something was so hot about the way the Vulcan said such filthy things in such a calm voice. Jim pulled his hand up to his stomach and gathered his semen with his fingers. He decided to tease, and made direct eye contact with Spock as he sucked them clean. He did the same to the bit of come that had reached his chest. He made a show of twisting his fingers inside of his own mouth, moaning louder than necessary as he sucked. Once he was done, he cocked his head at Spock innocently.

Spock was biting his lip roughly, looking like he was moments away from losing the cool, collected image and devouring Jim on the spot. Even though he was exhausted, Jim knew what his responsibility was here tonight. He moved onto his knees, wincing at the slight ache. He crawled down onto the bed and reached for Spock's belt to return the favor. He was surprised when Spock gently moved his hand away.

"Want to take care of you," Jim said hoarsely. Jeez, all that moaning and whining had done a number on his voice. 

Spock's lips tilted slightly upward in that kind of smile, kind of not thing he seemed to do around Jim. He reached out with his hand, stroking Jim's cheek gently.

"I appreciate your concern. I would prefer if you slept, tonight."

Jim felt almost offended for some reason. It was rare that he was denied permission to give someone a blowjob. "You don't want me to?"

Spock rubbed Jim's bottom lip with his thumb. "I can only imagine how talented your mouth is, Jim. But it is late. You are surely tired after tonight's activities. Will you listen to me, and sleep?"

Jim whined in the back of his throat, and wanted to protest. He was surprised at how desperately he wanted Vulcan cock at the moment. But his job here was to obey Spock, not to argue with him. He nodded.

Spock hummed in approval. "I think I will wash up in the shower. You should get under the covers. I am sure you will find them quite comfortable."

Jim wanted to protest that he wasn't even tired, but at that exact moment, he yawned. He also felt the soreness of his body. Reluctantly. he crawled back up the bed and slid under the comforter. It was like drowning in a cloud. He sighed contently, snuggling into the warmth and rubbing his face against the pillow. Spock watched him fondly.

"Goodnight, Jim," he said softly. 

"I'll wait up for you," Jim replied sleepily.

Spock chuckled quietly. With barely open eyes, Jim watched as Spock walked into the bathroom to switch on the shower. Jim was barely awake enough to see Spock removing his shirt, and Jim momentarily admired the Vulcan's fit body.

Jim opened his mouth to call out some smartass comment to Spock, but all that came out was a yawn. With that, he snuggled as far as he could into the bed and drifted off to sleep.

He only woke slightly when he felt a tall, warm figure slide under the comforter beside him. He felt a gentle kiss placed to the top of his head.

"Ashayam," Spock whispered. Muscular arms embraced Jim tightly.

He wasn't sure he had ever felt safer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. As always, feedback and suggestions are appreciated. I know where I want this story to go, but if there is anything you would like to see along the way feel free to drop an idea in the comments.
> 
> Vulcan Translations:
> 
> _ashayam _= beloved__


	3. fallingforyou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is not in love. He most certainly is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update took so long. I've been busy with school and work. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish more this week!
> 
> Thank you once more for your support on this work, I really appreciate it. Any feedback is nice to have.
> 
> Vulcan translations available in the endnotes. Once again, smut warning for this chapter and pretty much any following chapters.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Jim awoke to a horn blaring.

He sat up quickly in his bed to yell at Bones for letting his alarm go off on a weekend, but quickly realized he wasn't in his dorm. 

He was sitting in the master bed of a hotel, wrapped in the finest cotton bedding he had ever touched in his life. The events of the previous night came flooding back to him, and his face flushed red just thinking about it. He turned over to reach for Spock, but found that the space in the bed that once held a Vulcan was now empty. He pouted slightly and got up to investigate the sound of the horn. He stood from the bed and found his boxers resting atop his suit which had been neatly folded on the bedroom lounge chair. He slipped them on, and walked over to the large balcony. Pushing aside the curtains and looking outside, he saw the horn had come from a bad traffic accident. As unpleasant as that looked, he couldn't help but gaze in amazement at the scenery of the downtown area.

He closed the curtains and went searching the suite for any sign of Spock. There was none to be found. The suite was completely empty, and Jim found himself standing half-naked in the luxury room feeling rather lonely and misplaced. He sighed and sauntered back into the bedroom to climb back into bed. As he reentered, he noticed a piece of paper folded on the nightstand. He picked it up and found it was a note addressed to him from Spock.

_Jim,  
I had business to attend to, my apologies. There is a variety of food programmed into the replicator. The hotel reservation withstands through the afternoon; you are welcome to acquaint yourself with the amenities. There is a spa. Thank you once more for the pleasant evening. You will find compensation in the drawer._

_Spock ___

Jim snorted. Only Spock would describe him finger fucking Jim's brains out as a "pleasant evening". He set the letter back on the nightstand and opened the drawer as instructed. Placed inside of it was an envelope similar to the one Spock had given him previously. Only this time it felt significantly thicker. "Holy shit," Jim murmured to himself as he opened the envelope and examined the bills placed inside. He had been the one to be pleasured last night and this was the paycheck Spock had given him? Jim's excitement was suddenly clouded with guilt. He couldn't help but feel like he was taking advantage of the Vulcan in someway. Even though their arrangement stated that Spock would pay Jim, Jim certainly didn't feel like he had kept up his end of the bargain. All he had really done was eat dinner, drink champagne, and have one of the best sexual experiences of his life. 

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his blonde locks. He figured he should give Bones a call; both to consult him for advice and to let him know that Jim wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere. Even though he denied this, Bones tended to panic and the last thing Jim wanted right now was his face on a missing person's poster because he didn't give Bones a call. 

He rolled over on the bed and reached his arm out to grab his jacket that Spock had folded. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his comm.

Bones yawned rather loudly before greeting Jim with a grumpy, " 'Ello?"

"Good morning, sleepy head," Jim said chipperly.

Bones just grunted in response.

"I was just calling to inform you that Spock did not kidnap me and chop me up into tiny little pieces."

"How unfortunate," Bones grumbled. "I had already rented your bed out to Sulu and pawned half of your closet to Chekov."

Jim grinned. "Aren't you gonna ask me how my date went?"

"Do you want me to ask you how your date went?"

"Well, obviously." Jim rolled onto his stomach with his legs waving in the air, ready to gossip like the schoolgirl he was at heart.

"Fine. How was your date, Jim?"

"I'm so glad you asked, Bones." Jim began to list off the events of the previous night in order, going from the car ride to his awkward encounter with Uhura and then blushing as he quickly mentioned the mind blowing sex stuff.

"Jim, we should really have a discussion on boundaries," Bones said once Jim had finished his story.

Jim rolled his eyes even though Bones couldn't see it. "Anyway, now he's left me even more cash and a note telling me to enjoy the spa here."

"That's nice," Bones murmured.

"Is it?" Jim turned over to sit back up.

"Why would it not be?"

Jim sighed. He wasn't sure exactly how to go about this. "Do you think I'm taking advantage of him?"

Bones was quiet. He must've been taken aback by the question. "Jim, do you really think I'm the best person to consult about relationship advice?"

"It's not really relationship advice," Jim replied. "It's more... job advice."

Bones snorted. "Well, I think you answered your own question."

"How do you mean?"

"Jim, if it's a job, you're just doing what your boss tells you to," Bones sighed. "So, if Spock tells you to enjoy the spa, you enjoy the spa. It ain't like you're forcin' him to give you money. If he wants to pay to just watch you... um... _enjoy _yourself then that's his problem. Not yours."__

__Jim resisted the urge to laugh at Bones' awkwardness around sex and focused on his advice. He had a point. Spock sought him out just as much as Jim did him. If Spock wanted to spoil Jim rotten for almost nothing in return, who was Jim to deny him?_ _

__"Has anyone ever told you you're a genius, Bones?" Jim asked._ _

__"Not nearly enough," Bones said dreamily. "Anyway, is that all you need, kid?"_ _

__"Guess so."_ _

__"Alright then," Bones yawned again. "Have fun at the spa. Pick up some eggs on the way back." He hung up._ _

__Jim sighed, tossing his comm onto the lounge chair and getting up to see if he could find any clothes other than his discarded suit. He opened the bedroom closet and was taken aback by the pair of shiny blue swim shorts that he found hanging in it. Spock really had thought of everything._ _

__And, boy, Jim was going to enjoy this._ _

__\-----_ _

__A massage, soak in the jacuzzi, and pedicure later, Jim was leaving the hotel with a slightly disheveled suit and a definitely unsuspicious looking envelope of cash peeking out of the inside of his jacket. He hailed down a cab to take him back to his dorm, leaving the driver a hefty tip of Spock's cash._ _

__He walked back to his dorm tiredly, ignoring the side eyes from his classmates in the hallway at his unusual appearance._ _

__Bones was laying in bed, scrolling through something on his PADD when he arrived. Jim yawned loudly and flopped down onto his stomach on his own bed. He winced slightly. His mattress felt like a bag of rocks in comparison to the one he had just spent the night on._ _

__He turned an eye to Bones. "You ought to leave the room more often, y'know."_ _

__Bones looked up from his PADD with a glare. "And do what, exactly?"_ _

__Jim shrugged and nuzzled his face into his pillow, which was also rather disappointing. He hoped Spock would call soon with another hotel reservation. "I don't know, Bones. Get a girlfriend or something."_ _

__Bones just snorted. "And how do you picture me getting a girlfriend?"_ _

__Jim reached under himself to pull his cash envelope out of his jacket. He pulled out a few bills and tossed them over at Bones. "There. Have a nice dinner."_ _

__Bones rolled his eyes, examining the bills nonetheless. "All that money and you can't even pick up some damn eggs," He grumbled._ _

__Jim was already dozing off for a nap in his bed, mind occupied by thoughts of Vulcans and luxury hotels._ _

__\------_ _

__Jim didn't hear from Spock for three days._ _

__He tried to keep himself focused on preparing for his upcoming midterms, having one-on-one lessons with Captain Pike, and shopping trips with Gaila, but he was really just constantly hoping to feel his comm vibrate and see Spock's name on it. Whether it was the Vulcan himself or the perks that came with him Jim was missing, he wasn't sure._ _

It was three days later when Jim had returned from a jog with Sulu that he finally received contact from Spock. The water was running for him to climb into the shower when he heard his comm going off on his desk. He hurried out of the bathroom, the towel wrapped loosely around his waist falling to the floor in the process. Thankfully Bones was working sickbay that afternoon.

Jim barely needed to see the name on the screen before he answered.

"Hello?" He said, trying hard to not sound as desperate and out of breath as he was.

"Hello, Jim." Spock's smooth, sultry voice never failed to put butterflies in Jim's stomach.

"Oh, hi, Spock."

"Is now a good time to speak?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Jim definitely sounded desperate.

"How has your week been, Jim?"

"Good, thank you. How about you?"

"Things have gone well. Did you find the hotel amenities satisfactory?" 

"Oh, yes, everything was perfect. Thank you, Spock."

Spock hummed. "I request your company this weekend. I have dinner reservations for Friday evening. Is this possible for you?"

"Of course," Jim replied. He blew kisses to the Gods above. 

"That is nice to hear, Jim. A car will be there to retrieve you at 7pm." The call ended. 

If anyone asks, Jim did not skip into the bathroom with glee afterwards.

\------

Once more, Jim found himself sitting in a car with Spock. 

They were both dressed more casual this time. It had been in Spock's instructions. "Business casual". Jim had no idea what that meant, so he was wearing something that Gaila had picked out for him. It was a black sweater vest over a white button up shirt with black pants. Spock was wearing a nice navy blue sweater and a pair of grey slacks. He had given Jim an approving nod once Jim had climbed into the backseat next to him, but said nothing else otherwise.

Jim watched out the window as Raphael drove them once more through the streets of San Francisco. Slightly in the distance he could see the hotel from the previous week. Spock had given him few instructions on tonight. Jim had no idea where they were going or who they were going to be with; all that he had mentioned on the call was that they were having dinner. Finally, after a while of driving, the car pulled into the parking lot of a crowded restaurant. Jim couldn't make out exactly what kind it was, but it appeared to be just as nice as the one he and Spock had first dined at.

Raphael parked the car in the valet section. In an instant, he was opening Jim's door; ushering him out. Jim unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out. Spock followed shortly behind. Once out of the car, he held his hand out for Jim. "Will you?"

Jim nodded and intertwined his fingers with Spock's. They entered the restaurant hand in hand.

It was incredibly crowded with large groups of people in the lobby; Jim assumed waiting for a table. Spock escorted him right up to the hostess' stand "We have a reservation for 7," He said.

The hostess looked up at him ad there was recognition in her eyes immediately. She smiled. "Ah, Mr. Spock, we have your usual table ready for you." She gathered their menus and silverware. "Right this way, please."

They followed her to the very back of the restaurant. In the corner was a small booth, dimly lit by candles on the center of the table. Spock released Jim's hand and gestured for him to take his seat. Spock slid into the booth across from him as the waitress placed their menus and silverware before them. "Enjoy your meal, gentlemen. Your server will be right with you." 

"Thank you," Spock replied without turning to look at her; his eyes were on Jim's. The hostess bowed slightly and hurried off. 

Jim suddenly felt very nervous as he was left alone with Spock. He had assumed dinner meant time with Spock's colleagues or an associate's dinner party; not a date. He opened the menu both to distract himself and to make sure he wasn't forced into eating fish again. Looking over the menu, he realized they were in an Italian restaurant. He opted to get lasagna. He did always like it when his mom made it.

Their waitress arrived to take their orders. Spock again looked at him expectantly, so Jim quickly placed his order of water and lasagna. Spock ordered mushroom ravioli and a wine brand that Jim didn't know how to pronounce. The waitress gathered their menus and left them alone once more. She returned a couple moments later with two waters, two glasses, and a tall bottle of wine. J

They sipped their drinks quietly for a minute before Spock asked, "How is the academy, Jim?"

Jim swallowed the water in his mouth. "It's good, thank you."

"Good is a very vague word." Spock replied.

"Umm..." Jim attempted to gather his thoughts. "I mean, things are pretty good. I get good grades in all my classes. Captain Pike has been giving me these one-on-one lessons. I think he's trying to groom me into being a captain or something."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I thought being a captain was a desire of yours?"

Jim was impressed that Spock remembered that. He ran a hand down the back of his neck. "Well, it is but... My dad and Captain Pike were good friends. They were in the same academy year. And my dad went on to be a captain. He died in a Romulan attack, but he saved his entire crew before that. He's regarded as this legend... Captain Pike is always going on about how much of my dad he sees in me. It's just a lot to live up to. My dad died the day I was born, so it's like I'm trying to live up to this man I never met. I think if I were to become a captain, I would just be a disappointment to everyone. There's no way I could do what my dad did."

Jim felt out of breath by the time he was done speaking. He was sharing things with Spock that he had barely come to terms with himself.

Spock looked thoughtful for a long moment and didn't say anything. He eyed Jim with a look that Jim couldn't quite gauge. Finally, he spoke.

"Your feelings sound reasonable to me, Jim. It is a great pressure to live up to the expectations of others, especially when it seems there are such high ones set for you. I, too, have dealt with the same expectations placed on me by my own father. Though I do not have much knowledge of your academic career, I am confident that I am correct when I say that regardless of how you compare to your father, you will accomplish great things in your life."

Jim met Spock's eyes. He wasn't sure why, but he felt tears welling slightly in his own. It just meant a lot to hear those words from Spock. He wasn't sure why that was either.

Jim was grateful that the waitress arrived with their food before he had to respond. He was certain his voice would come out rather shaky.

They ate in silence. Jim's lasagna was a great step up from the salmon he had previously. When they both had mostly cleared their plates, Jim spoke up.

"What are your parents like?" He asked quietly. Spock's eyes snapped quickly to his and he worried he had overstepped. But Spock simply wiped his hands on his napkin and leaned back in his chair to respond.

"My mother, as I have mentioned, is human. She is a very kind, loving woman. I cherish her dearly. My father is much more... reserved. You would probably find his mannerisms to be similar to mine. He is a very important figure on Vulcan. I do think he wishes I would have remained on our home planet."

"Why?" Jim asked before he could stop himself.

Spock sighed. "Being a half-breed has created an interesting life for me. For most Vulcan males, it would be standard to study at the Vulcan Science Academy. I, myself, was accepted, but chose to decline because of their... prejudice towards those of my biology. I instead chose to study at Starfleet, in order to find balance within my Vulcan and human parts. I am certain that Sarek, my father, would have much preferred me pursue my studies on Vulcan. Many of our people have had negative things to say about my decision. I am certain these things affect Sarek's own image."

"Why would they even care that you're half-human? You're probably smarter than your whole damn planet anyway." Jim realized that was probably not the appropriate thing to say and blushed at his mini outburst. "Sorry." He took a sip of water to occupy his mouth.

But Spock simply chuckled quietly at him. "There is never any need to be sorry for speaking your true thoughts. Vulcans believe in being completely honest in all areas of life. And thank you, Jim, for your confidence in my intelligence."

Jim smiled sheepishly. The waitress arrived to take their plates and bring them the check. Jim reached into his pocket to be polite, but of course he was dismissed by the wave of Spock's hand.

"Thank you," He said.

"It is my pleasure, Jim."

The waitress returned with the check. She too thanked Spock for the hefty tip. Jim admired the fact that Spock was generous with his money. He had known of too many wealthy people who were way too stingy with their money in his life.

Spock drank the last bit of wine left in his glass. "Are you ready to go, Jim?"

Jim nodded.

\-----

Once they were back in the car, Spock turned to Jim. "Would you like to come to my home, Jim?"

Jim gulped. "Um..."

"It is fine if you are uncomfortable, Jim," Spock replied calmly. "Raphael would be glad to return you to your dormitory."

Jim considered that, but ultimately decided that it would be better to face the wall of anxiety that was going home with Spock than spending the night alone with his right hand and dorm bed.

"I'm comfortable."

Spock watched him for a moment, like he was unsure that Jim was being genuine, but ultimately nodded. "Home, Raphael." He said. Raphael started the car.

\-----

Jim hoped that Spock would never step foot in his dorm because he would never be able to look him in the eye after standing in Spock's apartment.

It was on the tenth and top floor of the building. It was a wide, open space. There was minimal furniture but it still looked so unbelievably wealthy. There was a long black, leather couch occupying most of the living room. In front of it was a glass coffee table with a vase of flowers atop it. There was an electronic fireplace that looked even nicer than the one at the hotel. Above it, on the mantel, hung various medals and certificates. The only other furniture that Jim could see was a long, glass kitchen table with six black fabric chairs spread out pushed into it. A bowl of fruit sat atop it. Spock's walls were lined entirely with shelves that were full of books that appeared to be in various languages. 

"I apologize for the slight mess in here," Spock said.

Jim stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't tell if Spock was making a joke or if he somehow genuinely thought his perfectly neat apartment was a mess. He would hate to see Jim's room before Bones forced him to clean it once a week. 

"Spock, your home is gorgeous," He said. 

"That is kind of you to say, Jim. Would you like a drink?"

"No, thank you." 

Spock nodded. "I suppose I should follow your lead. I have been consuming more alcohol than reasonable lately."

"Is there a reason for that?" Jim asked. He cringed afterwards. He had probably overstepped again.

Spock didn't seem phased by the question once again. "Just some stressful business at work. Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Jim nodded. Spock slid an arm around his waist. "Would you like to go into the bedroom, Jim?" They were still standing in the entryway. 

"Y-yeah, sounds good," Jim replied quietly. He tried to calm down his dick that was already hardening. God, he really got turned on like a teenager still.

Spock released his waist and grabbed his arm instead, giving Jim a light pull to the left. Spock used his free hand to open his bedroom door, revealing a large bedroom space with a king sized bed inside. It was a steel grey bedframe with a mattress covered in white bedding and a dark blue comforter. A grey bedside table was net it with a white lounge chair in the corner of the room. Spock gave Jim a light push forward into the bedroom.

"You can sit on the bed, Jim."

Jim went to obey, then realized he was still wearing his shoes. "Should I take my shoes off?" He asked. He didn't want to scuff the nice wood floors of Spock's bedroom. "Sure," He replied. Jim slid his dress shoes off and moved them to the corner of the room. He then walked on shaky legs to sit at the end of Spock's bed.

Spock slid his own shoes off and watched Jim as he sat. He walked over to Jim and stood above him. Jim felt incredibly small glancing up at the tall, handsome Vulcan. Spock bent down to place a hand on the side of Jim's face. He leaned down and kissed him. Jim immediately reached up to wrap an arm around Spock's neck, pulling him closer and kissing back. Spock pushed him backwards onto the bed so he was laying down with Spock bending over him. They remained like that for a while, kissing deeply. Spock licked into Jim's mouth and pulled back. He reached to remove Jim's sweater, and quick fingers unbuttoned the collared shirt underneath. Spock was still neat in tossing the clothes onto the corner chair. Jim thought Spock would undo his pants to free his hardening cock, but Spock opted to lean back over Jim, placing wet, hot kisses down his neck and chest. He stopped at Jim's nipples, taking one into his mouth and licking at it until it hardened. He did the same to the other as Jim moaned and threw his head back. Spock's kisses went down to his stomach, reaching treacherous area. He kissed Jim's thighs through his pants, purposely avoiding Jim's bulge.

"Spock, please," Jim whined. 

Spock pulled off him with a dark look in his eye, lips turning up slightly. "Please what, Jim?"

"Touch me," Jim groaned, attempting to reach for Spock to pull him back down onto his body. Spock caught his hand and moved it back down to the bed easily. "Ask nicely, Jim."

"Spock, please touch me," Jim tried. Spock tutted. He had removed himself completely from Jim's body now, and Jim was desperately thrusting his hips up to try and get that contact back.

"I'm not sure that's what I'm looking for, Jim."

Jim let out a loud wine of frustration. He tried to ignore his arousal and focus on what Spock was wanting him to say. A thought came to him, and he blushed instantly, averting his eyes from Spock.

"What is it, Jim?" Spock asked. And Jim just knew he knew.

"Daddy, please," Jim whispered. His face was bright red.

Spock's expression darkened instantly. "What was that, Jim? I couldn't quite hear you."

Jim whined. "Daddy, please touch me." He said louder.

Spock was on him in an instant. His mouth found Jim's immediately, kissing harder and more desperate than before. Jim moaned into the kiss, grinding his hips up into Spock's crotch. That earned a growl from the Vulcan.

He pulled back once more to quickly unbutton and unzip Jim's pants. Jim kicked his legs out of them and Spock threw them carelessly across the room. His arousal was showing. it was made worse by the fact that Jim had made the experimental move to forego underwear tonight. His hard, leaking cock instantly sprung up against his stomach. Spock licked his lips. "Naughty boy, Jim."

"I'm sorry, daddy," Jim whispered with a blush. 

Spock smirked at him. "What am I going to do with you a boy who's so naughty? Hmm?"

Jim couldn't hold back the obscene whimper he made at that. "Fuck me?" He tried.

Spock chuckled darkly at him. "That would be rewarding bad behavior, wouldn't it, Jim?"

"No, I don't think so." Jim tried to smile innocently at Spock, grinding up into the Vulcan above him once more for emphasis. Spock pulled back from him again.

"Hmm..." Spock hummed as though he was deep in thought. "How about I make a deal with you, Jim?'

Jim nodded rapidly. "Anything, anything."

Spock's lips twitched into a slight smile. "How about you suck me, Jim? And if you do a satisfactory job, perhaps I will consider your needs."

Jim moaned at that. "Please, Daddy."

Spock just chuckled at him some more. He removed his own sweater, tossing it to join Jim's discarded clothing in the corner of the room. He pulled off his belt, undid his pants, and kicked them to the side. Jim licked his lips at the large bulge pushing out against Spock's black boxers. Spock pulled those down as well, and Jim's mouth watered at the sight of the large cock in front of him. Spock's cock was tinted green, with a flushed tip. It was long, maybe the longest Jim had been with. He moaned, and leaned forward eagerly, wanting it. Spock finally got close enough for him to do so. He held his cock in one large hand, holding it to Jim's lips.

"Go on, baby," He murmured. Jim was happy to oblige. He leaned forward, licking at the slit. He took the tip into his mouth, sucking and rubbing his tongue over it. Spock was making a low purring noise above him. Jim opened his mouth wider, moving down to take more of Spock into his mouth, trying to utilize his tongue as much as possible. He forced himself all the way down, choking slightly and feeling tears pour out of his eyes. Spock reached a gentle hand out to wipe them away. Jim looked up to see Spock looking affectionately down at him. Jim pulled all the way off, then forced himself down again. He did this twice more before Spock grabbed his head on either side, moving Jim's head with might up and down his cock. Jim spluttered but moaned through it. He loved the feeling of Spock's dick heavy in his mouth and his hands firmly on either side of Jim's head.

"Oh, rom sa-kan," Spock moaned. Jim had no idea what that meant but he assumed it was good. Spock's groans were becoming louder and his thrusts more rapid. Suddenly, he grabbed Jim by the hair and yanked him off his cock. Jim fell forward slightly, coughing for air. Spock ran an affectionate hand down his face.

"Are you alright, ashayam?" Spock asked. He himself sounded out of breath. Jim composed himself enough to offer Spock a grin. "Better than alright." His voice was already rather hoarse.

Spock rubbed a thumb over his bottom lip. "Lay back, slor sa-kan." Jim scrambled back onto the bed, laying with his back against the pillows.

Spock walked over to the bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube. He set it down on the bed. He grabbed Jim's legs, spreading them out. Reaching back for the lube, Spock squirted a generous amount onto his finger. He reached down with his other hand to spread Jim's cheeks, sliding the digit in. Jim whimpered, thrusting down on the finger inside of him. Spock worked it inside of him until Jim was moaning, "More, daddy, please."

"Needy boy," Spock murmured. He pressed a kiss to Jim's thigh before lubing up two more fingers and sliding them in alongside the first. He twisted them around, finding Jim's prostate easily. He watched as Jim fucked himself on the fingers inside of him, whimpering and groaning loudly.

"Please, sp-daddy. Please, need your cock."

Spock smirked. "Well, since you asked so nicely." He pulled his fingers out, grabbing the lube and squirting a generous amount onto his hand. He stroked his cock, lubing himself up. Jim watched hungrily as he did so. He pushed Jim even further up onto the bed. He held himself in one hand, using the other to pull Jim's legs over his shoulders. "Are you ready, Jim?" He asked seriously. 

"Yes. Yes, please," Jim said. He bucked his hips impatiently. Spock pressed inside. 

Jim groaned at the feeling of Spock entering him. Spock pushed further in until he was bottomed out. Jim whined and ground down on the cock inside him. "Spock, move, please."

"Daddy, fuck me, please," Jim moaned out, writhing his hips in hopes of getting Spock to move. Spock took pity on him, pulling out and thrusting back in forcefully. Jim moaned loudly at the thrust. Spock repeated it over and over again, his cock repeatedly hitting Jim's prostate and causing him to moan out. His hands flew to Spock's arms, nails digging desperately into the Vulcan's skin. He didn't seem to mind. He appeared lost his own lust. He kept Jim's legs spread on his shoulders, and gripped Jim's hips tightly as he thrust.

"Tell me how you like it, slor sa-kan," Spock grunted.

"I love it, daddy, I love it," Jim cried out, grinding down to meet each one of Spock's powerful thrusts.

"Thank me for giving it to you." Spock directed a particularly strong thrust right at Jim's sweet spot and he screamed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." Jim trailed off into incoherence.

Spock's thrusts began becoming more erratic. He leaned down to capture Jim's lips in a kiss that was more teeth than anything. Jim attempted to kiss back but found himself simply moaning instead. 

"God, Jim, you're so good. Feel so tight around me. Now that I've felt you like this, I'll want this constantly," Spock punctuated each sentence with a sharp thrust. Jim tried to project his approval but he was really past speaking. He reached for his own cock, but Spock grabbed his wrist. "You come from my cock or not at all."

Jim nearly sobbed at that. He thrust himself down onto Spock's cock in desperation. He really was wailing now, with Spock growling and purring lightly above him.

"Come, Jim, come for me." 

Jim could do nothing but obey. Spurts of white shot out from his cock, untouched, and landed up on his chest. He sobbed as Spock continued pounding into him, seeking his own orgasm.

"Oh, ashayam, oh..." Spock released a guttural moan before emptying himself inside of Jim. He thrust a couple more times, working himself through it, before pulling out and collapsing on top of Jim. The two lay there together, both panting heavily and feeling the stick of Jim's seed between them. Spock's own cum was leaking slightly out of Jim's hole. They held each other for a long while, both coming down from their highs and catching their breath.

Finally, Spock sat up onto his elbows on either side of Jim. He cupped Jim's chin in his hands; dark eyes boring into Jim's bright blue ones.

"You were so good for me." He murmured, pressing a light kiss to the corner of Jim's mouth.

Jim blushed and smiled shyly at him. "You're really an animal in the sheets, Spock."

Spock frowned. "Humans _are _animals, Jim."__

__Jim rolled his eyes and pecked Spock on the nose. "Not what I mean.'_ _

__Spock sighed and stood up fully off the bed. "What would you say to a bath, Jim?"_ _

__Jim grinned up at him. "I would say yes, daddy."_ _

__Spock's eyes darkened but he shook his head. "Don't tempt me, Jim." He started into the bathroom. "I will run the water."_ _

__\-----_ _

__Nothing could have prepared Jim for the feeling of contentment that he felt soaking in the bath with Spock._ _

__Spock was leaning against the back of the tub, Jim in front of him with his back pressed to Spock's chest. The Vulcan held him tightly. They were surrounded by bubbles, as Jim had insisted on having bubble bath and had poured way too much in. Spock didn't seem to mind._ _

__They were just sitting in the tub, embracing one another. Jim rested his head against Spock's shoulder._ _

__"Spock?"_ _

__Spock hummed._ _

__"What's your favorite color?"_ _

__Spock frowned. "I'm not sure I understand the point of the question."_ _

__Jim sat forward to turn back and look at him. "You've never been asked your favorite color before?"_ _

__Spock pondered. "No, I do not believe I have."_ _

__"It's just a fun question," Jim replied, leaning back against Spock again._ _

__"I could not say I have a favorite. I suppose I find blue to be the most appealing." Spock really seemed to be considering, which made Jim smile._ _

__"I like red," He said innocently. He really was a child._ _

__"Why?" Spock asked._ _

__Jim shrugged. "Don't know. Looks nice. Starfleet colors, too."_ _

__Spock hugged Jim tightly, resting his chin atop his head._ _

"Red is a good color," Spock murmured.

Jim sighed contently, snuggling further into Spock. 

"Spock?" He asked again.

“Yes, Jim?" Spock played at impatience; but Jim could hear the fondness in his voice.

“What exactly is it that you do for a living, again?"

Spock ran an affectionate hand through Jim's hair as he answered. "I am a research scientist and an investor. I do my own research and projects, and I also invest into the projects and inventions of others."

Jim hummed. "Do you like doing that?"

"Of course, or I would not do it," Spock replied, as though it were that simple. Jim supposed, for him, it was.

"You know, I have some good invention ideas of my own."

Spock's lips quirked upward again into that slight smile. "Do you, now?"

Jim nodded, turning back to Spock again. "Most of them are sex related, though. Like fucking machines and stuff."

"My company does not invest in the likes of that, Jim." Spock replied.

Jim snorted. "That's a real shame. We could've been good business partners."

Spock stroked a hand down the side of Jim's face. "We are good partners now, are we not?"

Jim blushed and turned back around. He lay against Spock. "Yes. Yes, we are."

There, in the warmth of the bathtub with Spock holding him close, Jim felt the happiest he'd felt maybe ever.

And, as Spock placed gentle kisses to Jim's cheek and down his shoulder, Jim was completely oblivious to the fact that he was getting paid to be here, doing this.

This was a job. Not love.

Yes, a job. That's what Jim would tell himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vulcan Translations:  
>  _ashayam _= beloved_  
>  _rom sa-kan _= good boy  
>  _slor sa-kan _= sweet boy_____
> 
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> _Thank you again for your support._  
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>  _


	4. can this last forever?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim moves further into his relationship with Spock.
> 
> How long will it last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once more for your continued support on this work! I've decided to make this six chapters, wo we're getting close to the end.
> 
> This chapter has more smut and fluff, but things also get pretty angsty, so you have been warned.
> 
> Any Vulcan translations available at the end.

Jim woke up feeling way too warm.

He moved to kick the blankets off of him, only to find that the warmth was coming from the body next to him. He turned his body over and opened his eyes, squinting against the sunlight creeping through the windows to see Spock sleeping next to him, an arm strung over Jim's side; holding him close. His face was peaceful as he slept; eyes closed and lips pursed slightly, not snoring but Jim could hear the faint sounds of his breathing. He sighed, content, and snuggled his face close into Spock's bare chest. It was then that he realized they were both naked. His movement had caused his dick to grind slightly against Spock's and he had to fight to hold in the quiet groan that was approaching his lips. He lifted the comforter on them slightly, glancing down at Spock's naked body and running his tongue over his lip.

"Is there something I can assist you with, Jim?"

Jim flinched, pulling back. Glancing back up at Spock's face, he saw that the Vulcan had awoken almost completely and was raising an eyebrow at Jim.

Jim blushed and looked away, taking his lip in his teeth. He let the comforter fall back on the two of them.

"Jim?" Spock pressed. He moved the arm wrapped around Jim to hold his chin, lightly moving Jim's head down to look him in the eyes.

"Um.. nothing, I was just... you know," Jim murmured. His face had to be completely red by now. Who could blame him, though? This was his first time waking up in bed with Spock. he wasn't exactly trained for the situation.

"No, Jim, I'm afraid I do not know." Jim could never be too sure with Spock, but he was certain he was being teased. There was this playful quirk of Spock's lips, and his eyebrow had yet to lower from its questioning position. 

Jim was certain he wouldn't be able to verbally ask for what he wanted, so he quickly leaned up and pressed his lips to Spock's. Spock kissed back, slowly, gently easing his way into Jim's mouth. He moved his hand from Jim's chin to place it lightly on Jim's neck. They made out lazily for a few minutes, just embracing each other. Jim grew impatient, however, and moved himself upward to lay his chest on top of Spock's. He thrust his hips lightly against Spock's.

Spock pulled back, caressing Jim's face.

"You are rather impatient this morning, slor sa-kan," Spock murmured. 

"Want you," Jim said back, licking his lips quickly.

The sight of that seemed to arouse Spock enough for him to press another long kiss to Jim's lips, licking into his mouth. He pulled back again, earning a whine and another roll of his hips out of Jim. The friction must've been nice because he could see Spock holding in a noise of his own.

"Do you know what I would like, Jim?" Spock asked.

"Hmm?" Jim couldn't really think of an answer. He was preoccupied by staring at the pink of Spock's lips and the feeling of Spock's cock right near his.

"I would like if you showed me how badly you want me. The base of all important scientific discoveries is evidence. I believe I need evidence of your... _want _"__

__Jim whimpered at that. He knew words would fail him once again so he simply moved away from Spock, scooting down slightly onto the bed to kneel next to Spock's thighs. Spock watched him expectantly. Jim looked down at his own body. His cock was fully erect now, flushed at the tip. He couldn't look at Spock when he did this next part. He spit into the palm of his hand, then wrapped his fist tightly around himself. He began slowly stroking himself up and down. He let out a long whine. He continued to pump himself, twisting his wrist just right and running a thumb over his slit when he reached it. He was aware of how he was thrusting up into his own grip, making soft little kitten whimpers into the morning quiet of Spock's apartment._ _

__"Jim."_ _

__Spock's voice brought him out of his trance. Jim stilled his hand and looked up to meet Spock's eyes. The Vulcan was watching him hungrily. His eyes had gone completely dark, and his lips were sealed tight, as though he was forcing himself to keep the noises he wanted to make inside._ _

__"Are you enjoying yourself, Jim?" Spock's voice had the same composed tone it always did, but Jim could faintly make out Spock's lack of control fading slightly._ _

__"Yes," Jim breathed, knowing Spock would push him for a verbal response if he didn't give one._ _

__"I am pleased, as well." Jim looked down Spock's body, noticing for the first time Spock's grip on his own cock. "Do you know what would please me more, Jim?"_ _

__"No," Jim replied softly, resisting the urge to begin his stroking of his dick. It twitched in his hand._ _

__"It would please me greatly to have you on my cock, now."_ _

__Jim moaned at that, and scrambled quickly over to Spock to make it happen. He was stopped by Spock's firm hold on his arm. "It would be wise to prepare yourself first, Jim. I would prefer if you did not injure yourself, ashal-veh." Spock used the hand that wasn't enclosed around Jim's arm to grab the lube they had left on the bedside table from the previous night. He held it out to Jim, then quirked an eyebrow when Jim did not take it._ _

__"I assumed you would want to do the work this morning, as you have seemed so insistent to please yourself."_ _

__Jim bit his lip, but reached out to grab the lube from Spock's hand. He scooted back on the bed once more so he could spread his legs and allow Spock to have a good look at him. The Vulcan hummed at the view, stroking his cock lightly. Jim uncapped the lube squirting some onto his finger. He positioned himself so he was sitting back, with his legs spread and feet planted on the mattress. He slid the finger into himself, whining as it entered him. He pushed it further into himself, twisting it to reach that sweet spot inside of him. One finger wasn't enough. He pulled it out and added more lube to his hand. He quickly inserted two fingers into himself, moaning as they pushed in and grinding his hips down onto his own hand. He glanced up. Spock was moving a firm hand slowly up and down his cock, eyeing Jim hungrily._ _

__"Daddy," Jim moaned._ _

__He heard Spock's sharp intake of breath. "Come here, ashal-veh."_ _

__Jim obeyed instantly, pulling his fingers out of himself and crawling back up the bed to Spock. Spock took Jim's face in his hands and kissed him once more. Jim moved without needing Spock to command him. He straddled Spock's thighs. He reached to grab the bottle of lubricant from where he'd left it and poured a generous amount onto his hand. He took Spock's cock in hand, stroking him up and down to lube him up. Spock purred in the back of his throat at the contact. "Now, Jim," He instructed quietly. Jim nodded. He moved upward slightly, positioning himself over Spock's dick. He felt the flushed green head poke at his rim. Spock gripped his hips tightly, helping to lower him down slowly._ _

__Jim moaned at the feeling of Spock entering him. The Vulcan held him and moved Jim all the way down until he bottomed out. "Are you well, t'nash-veh ashaya?" Jim wanted to laugh at that. Spock's bedside manner was so formal. In lieu of answering, Jim raised himself all the way up only to drop back down. He and Spock both groaned loudly at the feeling. Jim set a pace for himself; raising and lowering, raising and lowering. On each slide down, Spock's cock would hit his prostate just right, eliciting incoherent moans out of Jim's mouth. He was guided gently by Spock's grip on his hips. Spock himself was grunting lightly, thrusting up to meet Jim halfway. They went slow and steady, just enjoying the slide of themselves against each other. Spock capture Jim's mouth in a kiss, swallowing many of his moans. Jim felt himself coming to the edge._ _

__"Sp- Daddy, Daddy, I'm close," He whined, pushing himself down for a more forceful thrust. Spock groaned at that, thrusting up harshly and earning a cry from Jim._ _

__"Go on, slor sa-kan. Daddy wants to see you as you release."_ _

__That did it for Jim. He pulled all the way up then dropped himself down roughly once more. At the feeling of Spock's cock slamming directly into that little bundle of nerves inside him, he exploded. His cock spurted streaks of white onto Spock's stomach. As soon as he had released, Spock grabbed him roughly by the sides. The Vulcan flipped them over so Jim was laying on his side. Spock grabbed him by the leg, spreading Jim easily. He slid back in, pounding Jim into the mattress. Jim could do little more than whimper and babble incoherently. His mouth hung agape, his lips red, and his eyes watery as Spock used him. Spock's thrusts became more erratic, and Jim felt the Vulcan empty himself inside Jim. Spock pulled out immediately this time, watching as his semen leaked slowly out of Jim's hole. He ran a finger through it and held the finger to Jim's lips. Jim immediately took the finger into his mouth, sucking and licking at it. Spock chuckled at him, pulling away and climbing off the bed to grab a rag to clean the two of them._ _

__Jim lay panting on the bed. He felt too exhausted to move and was too high on the drug that was Spock. Spock returned with a wet cloth. He wiped his own stomach off then wiped the bit of cum that had splashed Jim's chest before moving down to wipe his own seed from where it had leaked onto Jim's inner thighs. "Did you enjoy yourself, ashayam?"_ _

__Jim laughed quietly. "Mmm... I'd give it like a solid 6/10."_ _

__Spock hummed as he went back into the bathroom to dispose of the dirty cloth. "Hmm. I would be glad to hear your feedback sometime."_ _

__Jim was tired, but he raised himself up onto his elbows to grin widely at Spock. "The best way to improve is through experience."_ _

__Spock actually rolled his eyes at Jim. "You are truly insatiable, ashal-veh."_ _

__"What does that mean?" Jim asked. "What do any of those words mean?"_ _

__Spock sat on the edge of the bed but did not cuddle back into Jim. "They are Vulcan terms of endearment. Ashal-veh specifically would translate to the English word "darling." I refer to you so because I find you rather endearing."_ _

__Jim sat up to kiss Spock's shoulders. "You're not so bad yourself, Spock."_ _

__"I enjoy the sound of my name on your tongue," Spock said quietly. "Perhaps more than is healthy."_ _

__Jim rolled his eyes and lay his head against Spock's shoulder. "I was surprised to see you were still in bed this morning," He murmured._ _

__"You would have preferred I wasn't?" Spock asked._ _

__"No, no, not at all," Jim ushered out quickly. "It was a nice surprise. I like waking up next to you."_ _

__Spock didn't say anything for a while. They sat like that, leaning against one another until Spock rose. He knelt down by the bed, opening the drawer of the bedside table. He pulled out a small blue box with a white ribbon tied around it. "For you." He held it out to Jim, avoiding his eyes._ _

__Jim blushed and accepted the box. He was usually a messy gift opener, but he carefully pulled apart the ribbon and slid the lid off the box. Inside was a gold chain link bracelet. It was beautiful. Jim stared at it in awe, until he noticed the charm on the end of it. It was a small heart charm with the letter "s" engraved into it. Jim looked up at Spock, mouth open and unsure of what to say._ _

__Spock looked at him expectantly. "If it is not to your taste, I can always return it."_ _

__Jim rose up, throwing his arms around Spock in a tight hug. "I love it, Spock. I love it so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you."_ _

__Spock genuinely did smile at him then. It was a beautiful sight. He kissed Jim softly. "It is my pleasure to bring you happiness, Jim."_ _

__Jim placed an affectionate hand on Spock's cheek. "You always bring me happiness."_ _

__"Would you like to spend the weekend with me, Jim? I must attend a dinner party for work this evening and I was hoping you could accompany me. Sunday would be ours entirely. There is much of my world I would like to show you."_ _

The question caught Jim by surprise. So far in his relationship with Spock, the meetings had been spread out by a few days of Jim going back to Starfleet and contemplating existence. Given the status of their arrangement, Jim seldom wanted to admit to himself that he missed Spock and thought about him constantly during the stretch of time they were apart. They had been "together" for such a short time that it scared Jim how much he felt he already depended on Spock; and not even in a financial way. Jim craved the Vulcan's presence. So then why was he so nervous to spend a whole weekend with Spock? 

"Jim?"

Jim was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Spock's voice. The Vulcan was looking down at him with a concerned look in his eye.

"I'm sorry," Jim murmured. "I get lost in my thoughts sometimes."

Spock stroked Jim's cheek. Jim had noticed this was a habit of his; it was like it was his default form of affection. "I can see that. What were you thinking about?"

Jim blushed and nibbled on his bottom lip. "You."

Spock's lips quirked. "I am right here, ashayam."

Jim tried to duck his head but Spock held him up to maintain eye contact. 

"If you do not wish to spend the weekend with me, Jim, I will not be offended," Spock said.

Jim shook his head and rushed to respond, "No, no, Spock it's not that at all." He sighed, contemplating if he should say what he wanted to. Fuck it. "I just enjoy being with you so much it scares me."

Spock stared at him long and hard for a moment. He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it. Shit. Of course Jim had to ruin things by going and getting all personal. Finally, Spock leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Jim's mouth. "It would be wise for us to shower before we leave for the day. I will shower in the guest bathroom. As badly as I would like to find myself in the shower with you, you are unbelievably distracting."

Jim blushed and offered Spock a smile. Spock let go of his face to go into his closet and gather some clothes. That reminded Jim that he didn't have anything else to wear today.

"Spock, I don't have a change of clothes." 

Spock didn't acknowledge him. He instead reached back into his closet and pulled out a grey sweater and a pair of black pants. He laid it out on the bed beside Jim. Spock just nodded at Jim then nodded to the clothes before departing to his shower.

What a being he was.

Jim grabbed his comm out of his pants from the previous night to send Bones a quick message about his plans.

_To: Bones: Don't wait up for me. Spending the weekend with a sexy Vulcan. ;) ___

___From: Bones: How do I block numbers on this thing? ____ _

_____To: Bones: I will never tell you, old man ____ _ _ _

_______From: Bones: Whatever. Be safe, kid. ____ _ _ _ _ _

_________To: Bones: Always am. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Jim tossed his comm aside and grabbed the clothes Spock had laid out for him. He walked into the bathroom, attempting to mentally prepare himself for the day ahead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\-----_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" Jim asked, pushing his bottom lip out into a pout and resting his chin on Spock's shoulder.

Spock simply shook his head.

Jim sighed in exasperation. He felt like they had been driving for a while, and Spock had yet to mention their destination. All he said was they had a few hours to kill before the dinner party tonight and he knew of something for them to do. Jim's mind raced with possibilities. He could never keep up with Spock.

Finally, Raphael made a turn to pull in somewhere. Jim felt like a child as he shot up off of Spock's shoulder and hurried to the window to stare at it. They had arrived at a large, older looking building.

_Museum of Science and Space History ___

__Of course! Spock was taking him to a museum. Jim should've made that deduction given Spock's career. He glanced over at the Vulcan with a smile._ _

__"I assumed this would be a beneficial educational experience for you," Spock said._ _

__"Learning on the weekend?" Jim teased._ _

__Spock's lip twitched. "It is my job after all to cultivate young minds."_ _

__Jim chuckled and pecked him on the cheek. "Consider my mind cultivated."_ _

__\-----_ _

__The museum trip had been perhaps Jim's favorite outing with Spock yet._ _

__It wasn't just for appearances; Spock genuinely was a genius._ _

__As they walked through each exhibit, hand in hand, Spock pointed out facts and details to Jim that even the museum passages failed to mention. Jim had actually never heard him speak so much. It really was mesmerizing to see Spock so interested in things. It was clear science really was his passion; and well, Spock had become Jim's passion, so Jim found himself hanging on to every word._ _

__They finished their tour with the History of the Federation section of the museum. Spock was in the middle of explaining to him the physics mechanisms behind warping when Jim noticed it. There was a small display in the corner of the room about the U.S.S. Kelvin. There, in the center of it, was a framed photograph of his father. Spock followed his eyes to it._ _

__"Is that your father, Jim?" He asked._ _

__Jim nodded. He felt a lump in his throat. He purposely never kept photos of his father around because they gave him a tight feeling in his chest and pushed him to the verge of tears. Jim walked over to the display, running his fingers lightly around the frame of George Kirk's photo. His eyes were wet but he didn't cry._ _

__"You resemble him greatly," Spock said quietly._ _

__Jim turned to look at him. "You think so?"_ _

__Spock nodded. "You have his eyes. And his smile."_ _

__Jim offered him a small smile and quickly sucked in his tears. "Do you look like your dad, Spock?"_ _

__"We have the same ears," Spock mused._ _

__"Spock, did you just make a joke?"_ _

__Spock shrugged. He was back to looking at the Kelvin display, eyes reading over the description of George Kirk and his noble actions that saved a crew of 800 people._ _

__"Your father was very brave, Jim. Much like you."_ _

__Jim snorted. "I'm not brave."_ _

__"Why do you say this?" Spock asked._ _

"Because it's true," Jim muttered.

"Hardly," Spock replied. "The very existence of our relationship begs the contrary. 

Jim cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"It was very brave for you to seek me out in the first place. Many would not have the courage to acknowledge that they need a relationship like the one we share in their lives. You possessed the courage to meet a being you had never met before and be open with me about yourself."

"You consider getting a sugar daddy the bravery equivalent of sacrificing yourself to save a ship?" Jim retorted.

Spock frowned at the title, but pursed his lips and replied, "They are different levels of bravery; that is a fact. But in the time that I have known you, Jim, I have gathered that you are a very outspoken and caring individual. I do not possess a doubt that you would serve as just as bravely of a captain as your father."

"Do you consider yourself brave, Spock?" Jim asked.

"I have never given it much thought. I would like to think so. When I was a child, I was often spoken ill of by my fellow classmates as a result of my heritage. My father had instructed me to ignore their tormenting; this would be the most logical solution. My mother, however, encouraged me to defend myself. I followed her advice. My classmates did not bother me again."

Jim laughed quietly at that. "You beat some people up, Spock?"

Spock furrowed his brows. "I mentioned nothing of physical violence, Jim."

__Jim rolled his eyes and grabbed Spock's hand to pull him to one of the other history exhibits. "Could you walk me through the science of space toilets?"_ _

__It was meant to be a joke, but Jim wasn't surprised when Spock genuinely began stringing off facts about the flushing mechanisms of starship toilets._ _

__\-----_ _

__After spending so much time alone with Spock, Jim was unhappy with having to share him again._ _

__Spock seemed to be the main attraction at his dinner party. Jim once more served as arm candy, who was dressed nice with neatly combed hair and serving little more purpose than to look good with his arm looped through his partner's._ _

They were standing in a large circle of people. Spock had been having words with various colleagues. Apparently, Spock had some big research project coming up that everyone was desperate to work on with him. Jim was slightly upset that Spock had mentioned nothing of it to him. He often questioned Jim about how his studies were going, yet never answered with more than a few brief words when asked about his own occupation.

Jim felt uncomfortable standing next to Spock as his various coworkers and a large number of graduate students approached him with proposals. They offered Jim little more than a side eye as they approached Spock, and Jim wondered what exactly the point of his presence was. It certainly wasn't to keep Spock company as the Vulcan hadn't acknowledged him since they first arrived. When the conversation began to grow in volume due to the large number of people wishing to speak, Jim quietly untangled himself from Spock's grip and excused himself to go use the restroom. Spock offered him no more than a glance as he walked away.

Jim managed to slide through the crowds of conversation circles to find an open bathroom upstairs. They were in someone's home this time, though Jim had no idea if he had been introduced to the host or not. He walked up a long, spiral staircase to the only available restroom within sight and locked himself in it. He sat on the toilet seat, burying his face in his hands and willing himself to breathe normally.

What was wrong with him? Why was he behaving like this? It was ridiculous of him to be _jealous _of Spock focusing more attention on others. They weren't dating. There was no commitment. Jim got paid to show up, look pretty, and get fucked and that was it. It was what he had agreed to. So why was he so desperate to do nothing more than go out for a nice quiet dinner where he and Spock could just _talk _? Or where he could just be alone with him, cuddled up in bed or goofing off in the bubble bath. Jim wanted to punch himself in the stomach when he felt tears slipping down his cheeks. He felt for his comm in his pocket and decided to ring Bones.____

_____ _

_____ _

"Jim? You alright?" Bones' voice was drowned out by the sound of bass blaring."Holy shit, Bones, are you at a club?"

"Umm... Maybe?" 

That was enough to make Jim laugh through the tears. "What the hell are you doing at a club?"

The bass seemed to fade slightly, and Jim could hear footsteps and chatter. A door shut, and Jim was sure that Bones had found his way into the bathroom.

"Sulu and Gaila convinced me to go out with them. I'm trying to pick up a girlfriend with that Vulcan money you gave me."

Oh great, another reminder that his relationship with Spock was entirely for financial compensation.

When Jim didn't respond, Bones asked, "Jim? You okay, kid? Never heard you so quiet."

Jim tried to hide the crying in his voice when he answered, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just checking in."

He should've known better than to try and fool his best friend. "James Tiberius Kirk, if you don't tell me what's wrong this instant, I will drive down there so quick and beat it out of you."

"Your solution to me being upset is to beat me up?!"

Bones scoffed. "Aha! So you admit you're upset."

Jim rolled his eyes. "You're a real pain in the ass sometimes, Bones."

"Yeah, yeah, you sound like my ex wife. Tell me what's wrong, kid."

Jim sighed and let it out. "I'm at this dinner party with Spock right now, and um... I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him."

Bones was silent. All Jim could hear was the distant sound of the club's music.

"Bones?"

Bones spoke. "Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was just taken aback. What exactly is the issue with you being in love with Spock? Thought you were dating."

"We're not _dating _," Jim replied. "He's my sugar daddy, Bones. He doesn't pay me to be in love with him, he pays me to be in his bed."__

____

____

Bones grumbled at Jim's sex talk. He really was an old man at heart. "Has it ever occurred to you that Spock might feel the same way?"

No, no, it hadn't. Was that a possibility? Jim knew very little about Vulcan love, but Spock was half human after all. Spock had been incredibly affectionate, lately. He had been asking to spend all this time alone with Jim. And then there was those Vulcan pet names. Was Spock feeling the same way?

"Jim? It was Bones' turn to force Jim to respond.

"Do you think I should tell him, Bones?"

Bones sighed. "You know I'm no good at this relationship stuff. But I think you'll regret it in the long run if you hold it in."

"Do you regret letting your wife go?"

Bones snorted. "Not even a little. I better get back out on the dancefloor before Gaila comes looking for me. Follow your heart, kid."

He hung up.

Jim placed his comm back in his pocket and stood to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes were still slightly red from the tears, but he dabbed at them with some of the toilet paper in the bathroom. He straightened the bowtie he was wearing. It was a white one, paired with his black collared shirt and grey pants. It wasn't something he would normally wear, but Spock had picked it out for him. He described Jim as "ravishing" in it before placing kisses to Jim's nose and cheeks. Jim caressed his own face in a gesture similar to the one Spock did so frequently to him. 

Yes, Jim was in love with him. And yes, Jim was going to tell him.

He hurried out of the bathroom, but before he could get very far he bumped into a figure rather aggressively, knocking himself back down onto the floor. He looked up to apologize, and realized he was face to face once more with Uhura.

"You really don't look where you walk, do you?" She was staring down at him with squinted eyes, like she was analyzing him.

"Sorry," He grumbled, pulling himself to his feet.

He looked Uhura up and down. She was wearing a less formal dress this time; a low-cut and flowy white one that Jim had to admit accented her figure very well.

"Where are you off to in such a rush, anyway?" She asked. Jim couldn't make out her tone.

"I have to talk to Spock about something," He said quickly, attempting to sidestep her to get to the staircase. She moved to block him.

"I was pretty surprised to hear that you were still here."

He scowled at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Uhura shrugged. "It's probably not my place to say."

"Why start a conversation if you're not gonna finish it?" He snapped, challenging her. Her eyes narrowed at him.

"Fine, if you're so curious. Spock doesn't usually keep boys like you around very long."

Jim hoped he did a good job of hiding how much his heart sank at that. "Boys like him"? Jim supposed he shouldn't be surprised that Spock had had other sugar babies in the past. But it still hurt. Did he litter them with pet names? Hold them while they slept? Give them charm bracelets with his initial engraved into them?

Uhura was watching his face intently. "I don't mean to upset you, Jim. I'm just trying to spare you from the heartbreak."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Thanks for your consideration, but I think I can spare myself."

Her lips twitched. "Oh, can you? I'm glad to hear that, then. It will make tonight a little easier."

He couldn't hide the concerned expression from his face. "Tonight?"

Uhura sighed. "Oh, you haven't seen it yet?" She moved to the side, allowing Jim to get a good view of Spock downstairs. A young man, about Jim's age, with dark brown hair and blue eyes was standing very closely to Spock. They were speaking about something, and Spock murmured something to the young man that had him laughing rather loudly and gripping Spock's forearm tightly in the process. Spock didn't move his hand. His lips seemed close to smiling too.

Jim's heart felt like it had fallen right out of his chest and dropped three stories. He wanted to hide the pain in his face from Uhura, but just couldn't. The tears were falling before he could stop them.

"I'm sorry, Jim," Uhura said. She sounded almost genuine. "I'm afraid it always ends this way."

"Don't worry about it," Jim replied. He barely kept his voice from breaking. "Excuse me."

This time she allowed him to pass and he nearly sprinted down the staircase. He shoved through the crowds of people and hurried out the front door. He didn't bother looking for Raphael's town car; he wouldn't be accepting rides from Spock anymore. His stomach was grumbling. It was supposed to be a dinner party and Jim hadn't even gotten any damn food. He continued to stalk off, ignoring how cold he felt. He had left his jacket in the car.

"Jim!" It was Spock's voice calling out for him.

As difficult as it was, Jim didn't even turn to look at him.

"Jim, where are you going? Is something wrong?"

Jim stopped in his tracks and spun on his heels to turn and glare at Spock. The Vulcan was standing just a few feet away from him, half emptied drink still clutched in his grip. He was hiding it well, but there may have been a flicker of concern on his face. Jim was sure it was fake like every other emotion Spock had let him in on.

"Jim, why will you not speak to me?" Spock asked. He did sound slightly hurt.

"Why do I need to speak to you?" Jim snapped. "You have plenty of company inside."

Spock frowned. "Are you unhappy because of the crowds, Jim? I had not anticipated so many people. I would be glad to stand for some fresh air with you."

Jim scoffed. "You are unbelievable!" He turned and continued to walk off. He heard Spock's footsteps following him.

"Jim, human emotions often escape me. I am afraid I cannot determine what it is you are so upset about."

"Why don't you ask that guy inside?" Jim asked. He stopped but didn't turn around to face Spock. He could almost hear the Vulcan thinking.

"Are you referring to David, Jim?"

Jim did turn to him again then. "Great, I'm glad you guys are on first name basis."

"David is a student in my research program," Spock responded. "I fail to understand why his presence has angered you so greatly."

"How many were there before me?" Jim asked.

Spock frowned again. "What are you talking about, Jim?"

"How many boys were there before me?" Jim spat.

Spock opened his mouth then closed it. For the first time, he lowered his eyes from Jim's face to the ground.

"That's what I thought." Jim turned to leave again, but Spock practically ran to him, grabbing him tightly by the arm. "Let me go!" Jim shouted. Spock obeyed instantly.

He looked back at Spock's face. It was unreadable.

"Jim, were you unaware of the kind of relationship we were pursuing?"

"I was aware," Jim said quietly.

"Then why does it displease you so much to know that you are not the first man I have been with in this capacity?"

The words were out before Jim could stop them. "Because I'm in love with you, Spock!"

He shut his mouth quickly. How stupid was he? Spock was just staring at him, lips parted and breathing heavily. 

"Well?" Jim couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Do you have anything you want to say to me, Spock?"

Spock was quiet before murmuring, "I am afraid I do not know what to say."

Jim chuckled darkly, crying a little more. Spock looked close to reaching out for him, but he didn't. "Can Vulcans not love?" Jim asked shakily.

"Vulcans can love," Spock's voice was nearly a whisper. His dark eyes bore into Jim's but Jim couldn't tell what feeling was behind them, if any.

Jim took a step back.

"Oh. So you can love. You just don't love _me _?"__

____

____

Spock said nothing. Jim could've sworn he saw a tear forming in the corner of Spock's eye but it was gone before he could register it.

"Goodbye, Spock."

Jim turned and stalked off into the cold night. Spock didn't call after him. He didn't follow.

Jim walked alone, tears falling freely and heart broken in two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter got pretty angsty. Next chapter will be Spock's POV of everything!
> 
> Vulcan Translations:
> 
> _slor sa-kan _= sweet boy  
>  _ashal-veh _= darling  
>  _ashayam _= beloved______


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock goes back through his relationship with Jim. Can he save it? Does he even want to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this. We're nearing the end.  
> This chapter is pretty much the Jim/Spock relationship summarized through Spock's point of view, and it comes back around to where we are in the story.  
> Smut and angst warning for this chapter as is usual.  
> Any Vulcan translations will be available at the end.

Spock recalled a time when he was a young boy and was being relentlessly teased by his fellow classmates. They followed Spock everywhere, hurling constant insults. His father had been the one to tell him to simply ignore them. It was illogical to bully another, and in refusing to show emotion at their tormenting Spock would be exercising superiority. His mother had felt differently. She had encouraged Spock to speak up for himself; to fight back against the bullies with his words. Spock had ultimately chosen to go with Sarek's approach. 

That is, until one day, Spock could take no more. 

He was sitting on a bench in the schoolyard. He had a book on quantum physics in one hand, a ripe apple in the other. As he ate and read, the same boys who always followed him walked up.

"If it isn't the hybrid," One of them said with a chuckle. Spock did not even acknowledge them. He simply took a bite of his apple and turned the page of his book. 

"I am surprised your human biology did not overpower your ability to read," Another joined in. The other two laughed, but Spock held his ground and refused to look at them. 

"Can your mother read, Spock? It would surprise me. It is clear human women are good for little more than reproduction." That one did bother Spock, but he gritted his teeth and continued reading. 

"Where is your mother, now, Spock?" The third boy asked. "Finding a new Vulcan to whore for?"

That did it. Spock threw his book and apple down onto the ground and charged at the group of boys. He managed to tackle the one closest to him and hurled as many punches as he could allow. The boy's face was bloody by the time a school teacher came to pull Spock off of him and usher him to the principal's office.

When Sarek arrived to pick him up that day, he sat Spock down for a long conversation.

"My son, I would have hoped you would be aware that physical violence is illogical."

"They insulted Mother," Spock replied.

"Spock, I understand your human biology possesses you to be offended by insults. It is unwise to behave based on your emotional reactions. The ideal Vulcan could stand in the face of great pain, and contain his response. If you are not careful, you will allow your emotions to overpower you. What a fatal mistake that would be."

Sarek said nothing else. He simply placed a hand on Spock's shoulder and walked off. Spock followed.

It was from that moment that Spock determined he would never allow emotions to dictate him. He would dedicate his life to the Vulcan way, and allow his humanity to be a dim spark inside of him.

This strategy was ultimately successful for most of his life, education, and career. It was only once he met Jim Kirk that that all changed.

\-----

Spock took a look at himself in the mirror. He was dressed nicely, like always. He wore a white collared shirt, black pants, and a black jacket. He made sure his collar was perfectly straight and every strand of hair was neatly slicked down before departing.

Raphael was waiting with the car once Spock got to the lobby of his apartment. He climbed inside, and said nothing other than to give Raphael the name of the restaurant he was going to. He was not nervous. He had no need to be. It had a been a while since he had met someone like this, but he had done so before and would likely do so again. Arrangements like this were almost never permanent.

Spock had been hesitant to try this out again. He felt little fulfilment from pursuing any kind of romantic relationship. Vulcans mated for life, and Spock had yet to meet an individual, Vulcan or not, with whom he wished to share that life partnership with. He felt that to be more beneficial than anything. He was occupied so often by his work and his studies that he had little time to dedicate to another human so entirely. However, Nyota had been pressing him very hard as of late to start dating again. He knew that this arrangement was not what she had in mind. In fact, she found the whole thing rather distasteful. Spock did not mind. It was the most reasonable solution to his problem.

Spock arrived at the restaurant. He had no idea what the man he was meeting looked like, but he had instructed the hostess to sit one James Kirk at a particular table so Spock could locate him easily. Spock found the table, and stared mostly ahead as he walked. Once he arrived to it, he had to compose himself.

James Kirk was beautiful. He had tan skin, short, sandy blonde hair, and the most dazzling blue eyes Spock had ever seen. Those eyes snapped up to Spock as he approached, and Spock could practically feel the nerves radiating off the young man. James had said online that he was 21, but he had such a youthful quality to him that Spock almost asked to see some identification.

Spock was ashamed at how hard he had to fight to concentrate and remain composed. Jim- which was the nickname he had requested Spock call him- was an entirely fascinating creature. He was rather quiet, and had to be coerced into saying more than just a couple sentences. Spock wondered if he was always like this or if it was just the anxiety. Jim had said he'd never done this before. Spock assumed it was because Jim was young, but the human was so handsome Spock found it hard to believe he had never tried to capitalize off of it before. 

The dinner went smoothly. Spock was quite attracted to Jim physically, and the young man seemed smart. He had an interest in engineering and was pursuing Spock in order to be put through school. Spock could respect that. Jim was polite and a nice enough conversation partner that Spock assumed he would be satisfactory for the social outings he would need Jim for.

At the very end of the evening, when Spock slipped the envelope filled with about $6,000 into Jim's hand, his heart skipped a beat at the surprised look on Jim's face. He wondered about Jim's past and his childhood. How much did this amount of money mean to him? Spock chose not to dwell on it for too long.

He rose to leave, but couldn't resist the urge. He moved closer to Jim, not missing the way the human's breath quickened at the close contact. Spock took Jim's chin in his hands, and kissed him softly. Jim pressed his lips back against Spock's own, and Spock had to pull back quickly to ensure that he would not lose his sense of control. Jim's lips were soft and warm against his. He knew he would go too far if he allowed them to kiss him any longer. Spock offered little more than a nod as he left quickly.

\-----

A couple days later, as Spock sat in his office at the federation science building reviewing research proposals, Nyota appeared in the doorway.

He lifted his head to look at her. "Good afternoon," He greeted curtly.

"You're coming to the gala this weekend, right? We could use your image to get some of the sponsors to cough up a little extra cash."

"I will be there," He replied.

"And with a date?" Nyota was smirking slightly at him. Spock was not particularly attracted to women, but Nyota was quite pretty. She had tried to pursue him romantically when they first met, but his rejection had instead resulted in their friendship.

"Yes, I have someone accompanying me," He murmured, looking away from her to scan back over the papers on his desk.

"And how long has that been going on?" She teased.

Spock did not look up at her. "I would prefer to keep certain details of my life private, Nyota, if you do not mind."

Nyota snorted and raised her hands in defense. "My apologies. See you and your kept boy soon."

Spock frowned at her reference to Jim as his kept boy, but before he could argue against her statement she was gone. 

\-----

Jim continued to fascinate Spock greatly.

Spock had given him plenty of money for a nice suit for this occasion, and Jim did not disappoint. He was dressed in an elegant and simple black and white suit that framed his figure perfectly. Spock had to force himself to stare out the window of the car blankly; otherwise, he may have jumped over to tear Jim's suit off before they even arrived. While Vulcans were trained to keep their emotions at bay, it was rather ironic how animalistic their sexual desires and tendencies were. Spock had certainly inherited that in his own biology. 

Jim was no disappointment at the gala either. He obediently clung to Spock's arm, and smiled and nodded politely at Spock's various associates. Spock felt no need to specify the status of their relationship to his colleagues. He simply introduced the man beside him as "Jim", allowed Jim to smile or offer a handshake, then moved on to discussions of business. Nyota had been pretty adamant about her desire to raise a significant amount of money, so Spock turned on his charm to the best of his ability in order to get the rather wealthy donors present on board with the various research projects that were planned for their future. 

After a while, Spock grew bored of the incessant conversation. The social aspect of his career was his least favorite part. He would much rather be alone in his office going over reports or drafting proposals. But then he wouldn't have the company of the handsome blonde on his arm. Spock decided that they had socialized enough, and that the funds raised tonight would be more than effective.

Truthfully, Spock was just wanting to get to the more exciting part of the evening he had planned.

\-----

Spock's first night in bed with Jim was otherworldly. 

Nothing could have prepared him for Jim in his entirety; the way Jim's lips melted perfectly into his, the noises Jim made, the feeling of Jim's tight heat around his fingers.

Spock had had plenty of sex in his lifetime. Most of it was casual; arguably meaningless. He had only been in one or two serious relationships and they were with fellow Vulcans when he was younger. Jim was human in all of the best ways. He wore his heart on his sleeve. His emotions were often easily recognizable. In bed was no exception. Jim writhed and moaned on the feeling of Spock's fingers inside him. His desperate noises, his flushed face, and the sight of his throbbing cock bouncing up against his stomach every time Spock found the right angle inside of him. Spock was impossibly hard in his pants, yet he couldn't find the motivation to touch himself. His attention was entirely on Jim.

When Jim finally came with a loud whine and a rather harsh thrust down onto Spock's hand, Spock could hardly take his eyes off of him. Jim's beauty truly did overwhelm him. Even in a post-orgasm state, Jim had attempted to crawl across the bed to service Spock. Spock had simply guided his hands away. He was already rather overwhelmed by Jim's mere presence; he could only assume accepting oral sex would eliminate his image of composure completely.

Spock allowed Jim to curl up in the bed while he excused himself for a shower. He stood under the head of the hotel's shower head, allowing the water to flow down his body. What exactly were these thoughts he was having? There was the typical lust that he felt for Jim. This was nothing. It was merely characterized by sexual desire. Jim was physically quite attractive; anyone would be sexually attracted to him. No, the thoughts that scared Spock more were the ones of affection. He felt a desire to not just touch Jim sexually, but to hold him. To care for him. To protect him.

No, these were thoughts Spock would not allow himself to dwell on. He washed himself quickly with the vanilla scented soap of the hotel and rinsed himself off. He stepped out of the shower, drying hos body off and only pulling on his black briefs to return to the bedroom.

Jim was curled up on his side, facing the bathroom doorway. His eyes were slipped close, his mouth parted slightly, and his soft breathing sounds filled the room. Spock stared at him in adoration. He slid into bed next to Jim, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Ashayam," He whispered. He couldn't help it. Jim was so precious. Here in bed next to him, with Spock's head just above Jim's, Spock could smell Jim's natural scent. Jim didn't appear to wear a lot of cologne, so Spock smelled the remnants of some light body spray and a mahogany like smell. He held onto Jim tighter, and the human snuggled closer into his chest in his sleep.

Spock drifted with Jim resting comfortably in his arms.

When Spock awoke, it was early. Jim was still sound asleep, pressed against Spock's bare chest and making soft little snoring sounds. Spock nearly cooed at him.

Spock wasn't sure he could face Jim in the daylight. Besides, he had business to attend to. Nyota would kill him if he was late to today's lunch meeting. Spock slowly released Jim and slid out of the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping man in his hold. Jim stirred slightly, but he eventually curled back in on himself and continued sleeping. Spock double checked the closet to make sure the changes of clothes he had requested were present. His own outfit was a simple navy blue collared shirt with grey slacks. He dressed himself, then returned to the bed to double check that his envelope had been discretely placed in the drawer. It had. Spock took a piece of paper off of the hotel notepad left on the desk and scribbled a message for Jim into it quickly. He gathered his belongings then went to leave.

Spock couldn't resist the urge to take one last look at the beauty of Jim Kirk sleeping. The comforter had pooled around Jim's stomach, and his bare chest was showing. Jim was almost curled up into a ball, head snuggled all the way down into his pillow. He looked and sounded content. Spock almost broke into a smile at it. He left before Jim could pull any more emotional responses out of him.

\-----

Spock found that his life without Jim Kirk in it was a drag.

He had resisted the urge to contact Jim immediately. He didn't want to appear too eager. There were boundaries within these kind of relationships, and Spock had never had a problem with wanting to overstep them in the past. What was it about Jim that was different?

Spock was in the middle of a project regarding warping in deep space. He had fully dedicated himself to said project to avoid the distraction of Jim. He only took breaks to exchange the occasional message with his parents back home or to be forced out onto a lunch break with Nyota. 

Jim had even seemed to stand out to Nyota herself.

"I met that boy of yours," She had mentioned offhandedly on their most recent lunch outing. They were seated in a Thai restaurant that she had picked out, eating their respective bowls of fried rice.

Spock wasn't sure what to say to this, so he simply nodded.

"He's cute," She went on. Spock nodded again.

"You going to keep him around?" Nyota asked.

Spock tensed. "These aren't exactly lunch-date appropriate questions, Nyota."

She snorted. "My apologies, Spock."

Spock frowned at her. "Jim is a very remarkable human."

Nyota's expression had turned slightly serious. She could 100% be an incredibly intimidating person when she wanted to, but she rarely showed this side to Spock. There was no need. He already respected her.

"Don't hurt him," She said quietly. "He seems smitten."

Spock chose not to respond. He wasn't sure if he was frustrated with Nyota for her implications about his past relationships or because of her implication that he would harm Jim.

Perhaps the worst part of it was that Spock felt she was correct.

\-----

Spock's second night with Jim was on behalf of his own selfish need.

He had no work commitments or events to attend. He had wanted to see Jim on his own, without the need to please a crowd.

Jim was dressed nicely in a sweater vest and collared shirt. Spock wondered if this was Jim's usual style, or if he typically donned something more casual. He assumed the latter.

The dinner alone with Jim was pleasant. They spoke of their families. Jim's father was deceased, which is something Spock should have put together himself. The last name "Kirk" had been missed upon him. Of course Jim was famed captain George Kirk's son. The physical resemblance was there. Jim had asked about Spock's own family and Spock had described them. He rarely spoke of his strained relationship with Sarek, but Jim's own vulnerability had opened Spock up. He couldn't fight the feeling of comfort he felt only around Jim.

It amazed Spock how little Jim seemed to think of himself. Jim had incredible doubts about his ability to captain a ship or to show bravery. For the last two weeks that Spock had known Jim, the human had occupied his every other thought. He had to fight to control himself and his reactions to how perfect he felt the being before him was. How did Jim not see his own perfection?

Spock had intended on simply taking Jim out for a nice dinner; having a conversation with him. But the way Jim looked tonight... His hair combed neatly, the outfit he had picked fitting him perfectly, those blue eyes popping out as always.

Spock asked Jim to come home with him. Jim agreed.

\-----

Spock was in a lust-filled haze.

Jim's mouth was on his cock, moving up and down. His tongue was licking at Spock's shaft each time he moved. Spock looked down at Jim. Jim's blue eyes were looking up at his, his pink lips looking delicious wrapped around the tinted green head of Spock's dick.

Spock couldn't help himself. He placed his hands on either side of Jim's head, and began thrusting shallowly in and out of the blonde's mouth. Jim's mouth felt so good on him it was bringing out impulses Spock could not control. That was a summary of Jim in general. 

Jim only moaned around Spock's cock. He didn't seem to be struggling too much, as though this were effortless to him. That suddenly awoke a pang of jealousy in Spock. The thought of imagining Jim with other lovers gave Spock an anger he had never felt before. He hadn't even mated with Jim; hadn't even claimed him. He certainly would never bond with Jim no matter how badly he wanted to. This was not what their relationship was.

Spock fucked Jim that night. 

He had never felt anything better in his life. The feeling of Jim's tight heat around him, the way Jim's legs wrapped tightly around his waist, the way Jim was thrown back against the pillows, back arching and head thrown back as he moaned. His throat was exposed and Spock controlled himself enough to not lean down and bite it, truly marking Jim as his. But Jim was not.

Still, Jim was in a chorus of whimpers and moans, calling out "Daddy, daddy, daddy..." How Spock came to be attracted to the title he never knew. Sarek had been a distant father, but every Vulcan father was. Spock didn't believe he had "daddy issues" as Nyota had so charmingly referred to it. There was just something about carrying on the role of caring for his partner. Caring for _Jim _.__

__As Spock came inside Jim, he couldn't quiet the voice in the back of his head chanting, _mine, mine, mine... _____

____\-----_ _ _ _

Spock loved Jim.

There was no way around this. Over the last night, Spock had done everything he could to settle these emotions running rapidly through them. Jim did not agree to meet Spock for the purpose of falling in love with him. He agreed to do so for the purpose of money. It was incredibly illogical to think otherwise.

And yet, Spock could not fight the love.

His heart swelled every time Jim smiled, laughed, spoke, held Spock's hand, leaned against him, made eye contact... Anything. Spock was so naturally drawn to everything Jim did. 

Spock had spent the night sitting in the bath with Jim, conversing about the smallest of things.

Spock had slept beside him all night, holding Jim tightly to him once more. He kept his face pressed into the top of Jim's head, inhaling the beauty of that natural scent. He couldn't hide the guilty feeling that he was doing actions to claim what was not his. Jim was not Spock's. He never would be.

If Spock had any sense, he would have yet again climbed out of the bed he and Jim shared, leaving Jim behind before he could do more damage.

But Jim had thrown Spock's sense out the window. Spock stayed sleeping, spooning Jim whose bare back was pressed against Spock's bare chest. When Spock awoke, he saw Jim's eyes hungry on his cock. He couldn't hide the satisfaction that Jim woke up with such a strong desire for Spock on his mind. Maybe Jim did feel the same way. It was unlikely.

Spock's lack of sense showed further when he kissed Jim hungrily, when he instructed Jim to touch himself and watched with such satisfaction, and when he allowed Jim to ride him up and down with that same chant of "Daddy, daddy, daddy...'

Maybe, if Spock would have found the ability to control his feelings, to control his actions, then he wouldn't have been stood where he was; watching Jim's back as he walked off sadly into the night.

Where had Spock gone so wrong?

\-----

_"Because I'm in love with you, Spock!" ___

__Say something! Say something! Why did Spock say nothing? It was typical of Vulcans to think on the spot; to be able to handle anything thrown at them in the moment and know just what to respond._ _

_"Can Vulcans not love?"_ _"Vulcans can love."_ _"Oh. So you can love. You just don't love me."_

Spock rode home alone in a silent car, replaying that scene over and over in his mind. Jim's jealousy. Jim's hurt. Raphael did not ask Spock why Jim wasn't accompanying them. For all Spock knew, his driver had witnessed their argument.

Spock felt deeply ashamed of himself. Jim was right to be angry at him for his past. Spock had perused through several other men, never wanting to dedicate himself or his life to them. He had participated in arrangements like the one he had with Jim for the sake of necessity. All Spock had ever sought out before was brief companionship or a date for the sake of appearances.

Spock wondered what Jim was doing now. It was probably illogical to have allowed Jim to walk off into the night like that. The young man wasn't familiar with the area and he was obviously under a large amount of emotional distress. How had Spock not even thought of that? Jim could be lost somewhere or have run into someone who would take advantage of him. How ironic that Spock felt such a strong desire to care for and to protect Jim yet he had left him alone in his most vulnerable moment.

Spock was unsure what to do once he returned home. He removed his clothes, took a quick shower, and dressed himself in his a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants to sleep in. He lay down in his bed; back straight and hands folded across his stomach.

Was it not just a night ago that Jim had been here with him? They had made love. They had fallen asleep embracing one another. Spock had woken up beside the man he loved.

Yes, _loved_.

Spock did love Jim. What a shame it took him leaving for Spock to accept it.

\-----

Spock decided not to call Jim. 

It would likely only cause Jim more pain. Spock had accepted the fact that he loved Jim. That he would want him for the rest of his life. But he had behaved foolishly. He had refused to show his love for Jim. He had refused to hold out for the one.

His _t'hy'la_.

Spock knew this to be true now. But in his devotion to his would-be mate, Spock left him alone. He would give anything to Jim; do anything for him, be anything to him. And if Jim wanted Spock to be gone, then he would be.

Spock returned to work as though nothing had transpired the weekend before. Despite the failure of the dinner party in regards to Jim, Spock had actually been quite successful in granting funds to several researchers. He was reviewing the proposals when Nyota appeared in his office.

"How are you doing?" She asked. She had walked into the room and sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. He did not look up at her as he stamped an approval on a proposal.

"I am currently going over the project ideas for the upcoming trial year," He replied.

"I didn't ask what you were doing. I asked _how_ you were doing." Spock looked up at her then with a slight frown.

"I have experienced better moods," He murmured. He wasn't particularly in the mood to discuss his current feelings with Nyota.

Nyota said nothing for a moment. Then she leaned forward slightly onto Spock's desk and said with a sigh, "I'm really sorry, Spock."

Spock stopped what he was doing and raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for what, Nyota?'

"Jim," She said quietly. She looked down at her lap.

"How did you know about what happened with Jim?'

Nyota hesitated. The she spoke. "I feel partially responsible."

"And why is that?" Spock couldn't hide the slight anger slipping into his voice. What was she talking about?

"I mentioned something about your... past relationships to Jim. And warned him not to get hurt."

Spock glowered at her. "Why would you assume this was an appropriate thing to do?"

"Jim is a good person, Spock," Nyota sounded like she was becoming agitated herself.

"I am well aware of that," Spock snapped.

"Would you really sit here and deny that you've broken hearts in the past?" Her voice was raised now. Spock stood quickly, nearly knocking his chair down behind him in the process.

"I am well aware of my own faults as well, Nyota. You made an uneducated assumption in regards to my relationship with Jim. I had never lied to him about my past. Omission is not dishonesty. And in comparison to the other males you are referring to, I have hurt many and regret it deeply. However, none of those men ever compared to Jim. I have felt for no one what I feel for Jim."

They were both quiet for a while. Nyota was staring downwards, not looking at Spock. Spock settled back into his chair, staring over her shoulder at the wall. After a few moments, Nyota broke the silence. 

"I care about you, Spock. You're a good friend to me. I'm sorry for overstepping in your relationship with Jim. I just didn't want to see you go through the same cycle over and over again. It's clear to me now you truly do love Jim. And he loves you, too."

Spock's heart nearly stopped. "He does?" Jim had said so. But Spock found it so hard to believe. Who other than his parents had ever truly loved him?

Nyota broke into a slight smile. "I thought Vulcans were supposed to be smart."

"I'm not sure what correlation the intelligence of my race has with the current conversation," He replied seriously.

"Spock, what I'm trying to say is, it's obvious he's head over heels for you," She said with a giggle. "You couldn't really have missed the way he looks at you, could you?"

Spock fought the small smile fighting its way onto his face. "Very well, then."

Nyota sighed dramatically and leaned back into her chair. "Well, that's it, isn't it? You and Jim happily ever after? Spock mated at last."

"That is not the case," Spock murmured sadly. "Jim is rather upset with me. Not just because of your words. He confessed his love to me, and I said nothing."

"You seriously need some relationship advice," Nyota grumbled.

Spock ignored her. "It is too late for Jim and I. I have hurt him too greatly already. I will be a burden to him no longer, and I will allow him his independence. There is no need for me to contact him further."

"Not even for his last paycheck?" Nyota quipped.

Spock frowned at her once more. "I do not understand."

She rolled her eyes. "You never paid him for the dinner party. I mean, that's how your whole relationship started, right? It would be a breach of contract to not pay him for his last services to you."

Spock simply nodded stiffly because he was slightly embarrassed he hadn't thought of this loophole on his own.

"Thank you, Nyota."

"I owed you one. I'm sorry, again."

Spock offered her a more polite nod. "All is forgiven. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a check to deliver."

\-----

It wasn't difficult for Spock to use Starfleet Academy data logs to find Jim's dorm room number. He knew the building already from his picking up of Jim. He opted to give Raphael the day off and drove himself.

Spock ignored the raised eyebrows and sideways glances of Jim's fellow classmates as he walked through the halls, dressed in a designer teal sweater with an envelope of money tucked tightly under one arm. Spock arrived at Jim's dorm. Room 156.

Hesitantly, he raised his fist and knocked twice on the door.

Spock's stomach felt tight as the door opened. 

But it was not Jim.

Standing in the doorway was a brown haired, brown eyed man. He looked a few years older than Jim but perhaps a couple younger than Spock. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a red Starfleet sweatshirt. He looked incredibly unhappy to see Spock outside his door.

Spock cleared his throat. "I am looking for Jim Kirk."

The man was glaring at him now. Spock wondered if he had misread the room number. Maybe this man was so angry because he had no idea who the hell Spock was.

"You must be Spook," The man said gruffly.

"Spock," Spock corrected.

"Same difference."

Spock eyed him cautiously. "You are Jim's roommate?"

The man rolled his eyes. "What does it look like?"

"Well, is Jim here?"

Jim's roommate gave him another dirty look. "Why exactly do you care?"

Oh. The roommate was angry at him. Spock should have suspected this.

Spock sighed and responded, "Jim and I have had a great disagreement. I have come to pay him for his final... services to me. I was hoping I would be able to apologize for anything I have done to upset him."

"Yeah, fat chance on that, Vulcan," Jim's roommate replied sourly. "You think I'm just gonna let you waltz in here like everything's okay? Jim came home sobbing two nights ago. You can leave the money for him, but otherwise I think you ought to just leave the poor kid alone."

"Will you please allow me entry? Just for a moment. I will leave both yourself and Jim alone afterwards. I would be glad to compensate you for the favor."

Jim's roommate rolled his eyes again. "I don't want your rich scientist money. Just get in and get out before Jim gets back. He's just now been normal today." He stepped aside to allow Spock to walk in. Spock nodded gratefully and stepped inside.

The room was small. Spock had had his own apartment during his academy days so he did not have the experience of living in a dormitory. There were two beds on each side of the room along with two desks. The roommate went and sat at the desk on what appeared to be his side of the room. It was decorated very simply with solid grey bedding and a shelf on the wall that held only an old alarm clock and two framed photos; one of a young girl and the other of this man and Jim. They were smiling and dressed in their academy uniforms; Jim's arm was strung loosely over his roommate's shoulder. The man noticed him staring.

"That was our first year at the academy, " He said softly.

"What year are you in now?"

"Third," The man replied. "Jim too," He added quietly.

Spock hummed. "Would you mind giving me your name?"

The roommate frowned but responded, "Leonard. Leonard McCoy. Jim calls me Bones. I'd prefer you didn't."

"Leonard is sufficient," Spock murmured.

When Leonard turned back to the work on his desk and said nothing else, Spock examined Jim's side of the room. It was much less organized; much more lived in. Jim's comforter was a dark red and Spock recalled their bath discussion of Jim's favorite color. Jim's desk was littered with different papers and office supplies. He had a couple of movie posters hung on his wall. He had a shelf similar to Bones' which held a few photographs. One of him and Bones clearly drinking too much at a bar, another of him and a green-skinned girl kissing his cheek in a photo booth, and one of a young couple posing on a motorcycle. Spock recognized the smiling face of George Kirk and deduced that the young woman must be Jim's mother. Spock's heart swelled at this simple glimpse into Jim's life.

Feeling Leonard's eyes on the back of his head and understanding that he had probably overstayed his welcome, Spock went to tuck the envelope under Jim's pillow. As he did so, he found the chain link bracelet he had given Jim already hiding there. He swallowed the hurt in his throat and slid the money beside it. He turned to leave, but Leonard caught his arm.

"You really hurt Jim, you know," Leonard said gruffly. 

"I am aware. And I am deeply sorry for it. Any pain I caused Jim was unintentional."

Leonard released his arm. "I told him he shouldn't have gone for the whole sugar daddy thing," He said, more to himself than to Spock.

"Did he tell you why he did?" Spock asked quietly.

"Needed money to put him through his last year of Starfleet. His mom's never had a lot. I help him out where I can. My folks have some decent savings," Leonard replied.

"Why were you opposed to the idea of Jim pursuing a relationship like the one he and I shared?" Spock could make his assumptions, but he wanted the truth.

"Jim's a sensitive kid, whether he wants to admit it or not. He falls too easily. Gets attached too quick. Didn't want him falling for some guy that only had his mind on one thing."

Spock sighed. "For what it's worth, Leonard, though I did initially seek out a partner like Jim for the reasons you are describing, I have grown to love Jim. I love him in ways I have yet to fully come to terms with myself. To ease your concerns, I will assure you that I intend to contact Jim no longer. He will be able to move on and choose to find another figure like me or perhaps pursue a relationship with clearer intentions."

Leonard said nothing and moved his gaze to the floor. Taking that as the end of the conversation, Spock walked towards the door. As he turned the knob, Leonard spoke out to him once more.

"You should talk to him."

Spock turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you genuinely believe that?"

"Jim deserves to know how you feel. He deserves closure."

Spock said nothing. The two men remained staring at one another. Leonard was right, of course. Spock should tell Jim how he felt. How fair would it be to either of them to never even give it a chance?

"You care for Jim greatly," Spock observed.

"He's my best friend," Leonard said. The words carried great meaning.

"I am grateful Jim has you. Tell me; where would Jim be now?"

"He's in a meeting with Captain Pike. Main campus building."

Spock nodded at him. "Thank you for your kindness today, Leonard."

Leonard looked slightly uncomfortable but he just nodded in return. "Be good to him, Vulcan, or I'll cut the tips of your ears off myself."

Though it sounded like a humorous concept, Spock was certain it wasn't an empty threat. He quickly exited. 

\-----

Spock didn't think he had ever gotten somewhere so quick in his life.

He didn't bother to go and get into his car. He walked hurriedly from Jim's dormitory to the Starfleet Main Campus Building. His eyes quickly scanned through the directory and he hurried up the stairs to Captain Christopher Pike's office.

Before he could reach the room, Spock physically ran into no other than Captain Pike himself. Spock remembered the captain well. Pike had very recently come into his position when Spock was a graduate student, and the two had worked briefly together.

Pike stepped back from him and stared in surprise. "Spock! What a strange coincidence."

"What is the coincidence?" Spock asked him.

"I was actually planning on contacting you. I've seen a lot of the great work you've been doing in your field lately."

"Thank you, Captain," Spock replied. He hoped he didn't sound too rushed, but he was indeed trying to find Jim before it was too late.

"Listen, Spock, I'm putting together a crew for the new ship, The Enterprise. I'll be captaining for some time, and I have one of my most decorated students as first officer and a successor. We're really in need of a science officer on board. I was hoping for someone with your experience and expertise. I remembered you had once been very passionate about working on a starship when you were a student here."

Spock was slightly taken aback. It was true that he had wanted to work on a starship a few years ago, but his career had changed course. Still, the opportunity was a good one. Taking off into deep space may suffice as a fresh start for Spock, given recent events.

"Thank you for your consideration and your compliments, Captain," Spock responded with a slight bow. "Would you mind if I took a moment to consider? There is just some business I have to attend to."

"Sure, just need your answer by the end of the week. You clearly know where to find me." Pike clapped Spock on the shoulder then walked off.

Well, Jim clearly wasn't here. Spock had almost wondered if Leonard had lied to him about his friend's location. No, this was unlikely. Leonard had seemed genuine. Still, Spock supposed it was a sign to have not found Jim. Probably best to leave things as they were.

Spock walked back down the stairs of the building and headed out the door. Once he was outside, he began his walk back to Jim's dormitory parking lot. Before he could get very far, he heard a voice that would fill Spock's ears for as long as he shall live.

"Spock?"

Spock spun around so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash. Standing before him, dressed in his red Starfleet academy uniform was Jim.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked. When Spock didn't respond, Jim moved closer. "Are you stalking me?"

Spock's cheeks flushed slightly. "I suppose some might consider my behavior today to be stalking. I came to see you, but you were not in your dormitory. Leonard McCoy gave me your location"

"Goddammit, Bones," Jim grumbled under his breath.

"I am sorry if my presence here today has upset you," Spock said quickly.

Jim looked up at him. "Why did you come to see me, Spock?"

"I wanted to apologize." 

Jim waved a dismissive hand at him. "There's nothing to apologize for. I understand. It's not like we were dating anything. We both knew what we were signing up for and it's my fault for letting my feelings get involved."

"That is not true," Spock replied. "You have no fault to claim, Jim."

"I was the one who freaked out on you and unloaded all of that love stuff on you. I shouldn't have gotten jealous like that. It doesn't matter who else you've been with before. I get it. Really. There's no hard feelings."

Spock was quiet, unsure what to say. He needed to get this right.

"Jim, could we go somewhere and talk?" He asked.

Jim quirked an eyebrow. "Talk about what?"

"Personal matters," Spock said simply.

Jim seemed hesitant, but he nodded. "Sure. I know a place."

\-----

Spock followed Jim to a rather remote location. They walked through most of the Starfleet campus, and to a nearby park. It was rather desolate, with only a few kids playing on a playground and a couple Starfleet students studying in the grass. Jim walked Spock to the far corner of the park, where there was a bench under a large tree. Jim sat and looked at Spock, clearly expecting him to do the same. Spock sat.

They were quiet for a while. Jim kicked his feet around in the grass and kept his gaze down. Spock stared ahead. After he felt he had gathered his thoughts effectively, Spock spoke.

"Vulcans are rather complicated creatures," He started. "The way that we deal with our emotions is entirely unique to our race. We do love, but it is a very different kind of love than is typical for humans. Vulcan love is permanent, eternal. When we mate, we mate for life. Vulcans dedicate themselves entirely to one being."

When Jim said nothing and kept staring down at his feet, Spock kept going.

"I have often been fearful of my own emotions. Given my human heritage, I have a tendency to feel much stronger than most Vulcans. I have spent my whole life struggling to find the balance between emotion and logic. This is why I have always sought out the dynamic which we started. I have been fearful to open myself up so entirely to one another. I have never found one with whom I wanted to genuinely dedicate my existence to. That is, until I met you."

Jim looked up then. His piercing blue eyes met Spock's dark ones.

"What I am trying to say, Jim, is that I love you. I love you so truly; so deeply. There is nothing in this world I would not do for you. I am sorry it has taken me this time to realize it. I allowed my own anxiety to overcloud my true feelings. In doing so, I have hurt you; the one being I have ever truly wanted in this way. You do not have to forgive me. You do not have to love me, either. But know, Jim, that my heart will always beat for you. You will always be my purpose, whether this is reciprocated or not. This is the Vulcan way."

Jim stared at him agape. Spock couldn't blame him; it was a lot to take in. Jim opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally, he pulled his eyes away from Spock and looked ahead. 

"I will leave you now, Jim." Spock went to get up, but Jim stopped him.

"Wait."

Spock looked at him expectantly. 

"You love me?" Jim asked. He looked so soft, so vulnerable. Spock wanted to protect him with his life.

"I do," Spock replied simply.

Jim frowned. "How do I know that's true?"

"I wish to show you something, Jim," Spock said. "It will be overwhelming, but it is the only way to show my true affections for you. Do you consent?"

Jim looked incredibly nervous, and there was clear hesitation in his eyes. But he nodded. "I do."

Spock leaned forward, and placed his hands on either side of Jim's head. 

With that, he began to show Jim his mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Jim and Spock be able to make it work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry about the delay on this to anyone who was waiting for the ending.  
> I really needed to take some time away and write on some other works to figure out exactly where I wanted this to go.  
> I could definitely see myself going back and editing this work at some point to fix up previous chapters.
> 
> Thank you for your support and patience!
> 
> As always, any Vulcan translations are available in the endnotes.

As a child, Jim's mom often played records.

Winona Kirk had a vintage record player which had been a gift from her father, whom Jim was named after. She was especially fond of old, old music. One of Jim's favorite childhood memories was dancing around with his mom in the kitchen to the sound of ABBA. This was also one of his earliest memories of love. There, holding onto his mother's arms and spinning around in circles to the beat with gleeful smiles on their faces, Jim had never felt so safe, so cherished, so protected. 

That is, until the moment Spock entered his mind.

Jim hadn't been sure what Spock's intentions were as he watched the Vulcan reach up to his face. But he had no time to protest, for the minute Spock's thumbs landed on either side of his temple, he was surrounded by images. Images all of Spock. Spock's earliest memories flashed before Jim as though he were living each one himself. The smiling face of Spock's mother, Spock's own parents embracing one another in the kitchen of his childhood home, a secret hideout where Spock used to read on Vulcan, children hurling insults at him, Spock being accepted into Starfleet, Spock graduating, the faces of friends and colleagues passing by quickly. With each shot comes Spock's feelings, whether they be pride or sadness or anger or joy. 

Finally, they catch up to the present time. Jim sees himself through Spock's eyes. His nervous blush the first time they met, Spock's attraction to him dressed in a suit standing at Spock's side, the sight of him whimpering and wrecked out on the hotel bed with Spock's fingers twisting inside him, Jim's smile, Jim's laugh, Jim sitting across from Spock in the dimly lit corner of a restaurant, the sight of Jim being fucked by Spock, including the warmth of Jim's body and the sounds he made. Jim is overwhelmed by how _pure_ Spock's feelings for him are. In each memory, there is such a genuine affection, a genuine feeling that almost feels like _love_.

Jim could barely make sense of it himself, but he started to project back to Spock; wants to show him what he's been shown. Jim projects back images of his own mother, reading Jim bedtime stories at night. He thinks of his lonely childhood in Iowa, where he spent most of his time alone, fixing up abandoned motorcycles and chasing around farm animals. Jim shows Spock the memories of Pike finding him in a bar and convincing him to join Starfleet, that first meeting with Bones on the shuttle, late nights drinking too much and laughing about nothing with Gaila, the first time someone clapped Jim on the shoulder and said they were proud of him. And then there's Spock.

Jim flooded Spock's mind with his own affections. The sight of the Vulcan walking across the restaurant towards him, the nerves he felt siting in the back of a car next to Spock, the way Spock looked with three fingers deep inside Jim, the way Spock feels thrusting in and out of him, the way Spock held Jim close to him in the warm water of his bathtub. The pain shows up, too. The pain of feeling rejected, the feeling of jealousy at imagining Spock with other men, the way Jim came stumbling into the dorm that night after their argument, crying like a child in Bones' arms.

When it's all over, Jim can't breathe.

Spock pulled away from Jim just as quickly as he touched him. Jim's eyes struggled to adjust back to real life. He blinked a few times, attempting to recognize the sunshine and grass in front of him. He was panting heavily, struggling to take a steady breath. There was a strong pressure in his head and he almost felt like falling over. Luckily, Spock reached for him again, and firm hands gripped Jim's shoulders.

"Jim."

Jim blinked rapidly, managing to focus enough to turn to the Vulcan sitting beside him. When he was able to focus, he found Spock's dark eyes looking at him with concern. 

"I apologize, Jim," Spock said softly. "I should have warned you. The mind meld can be quite overwhelming the first time one experiences it."

Jim blinked a couple more times in confusion. "Mind meld?"

Spock hummed. "What we have just shared with one another was a melding of minds. This is how I was able to share my memories and my thoughts with you, and you were able to reciprocate."

Jim took a few more deep breaths. "I- I saw your whole life. I saw your family and your friends and your childhood and... And me. I was there."

"Yes, indeed," Spock replied thoughtfully. "And I saw yours as well. You may have been unaware, but you were projecting quite strongly back to me."

"I think I realized it," Jim murmured. "I didn't know if it was working or not. I was trying to show you what you were showing me."

Spock just hummed again. His eyes were still scanning Jim's face with a trace of worry, but he said nothing else; just kept his grip on Jim's shoulders. 

They sat there quietly for a few moments, just listening to the sounds of grass rustling and people moving throughout the park nearby. Jim was attempting to process everything he had just seen in Spock's mind. Just a couple days ago, he had thought how foolish it was of him to be so infatuated with Spock. He felt like they hardly knew each other, yet Jim was so desperately fond of the Vulcan it scared him. Now it felt like he had learned the entirety of Spock and his life in one sitting and wasn't sure what to do with the information.

"Why did you show me that?" Jim was the one to break the silence. His voice was still shaky, but he had managed to gather most of his breath and the pressure in his head had gone down. He no longer felt like Spock's hands were the only thing holding him to the surface of the planet. 

Spock opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He removed his hands from Jim's shoulders, setting them delicately in his lap. He appeared to be thinking of the right thing to say. Jim watched him patiently.

"Do you recall your words to me? The last night I saw you?" Spock asked. Jim took a good look at Spock's sharply defined features. For the first time since Jim had known him, he appeared vulnerable. 

Jim thought of the night in question. He recalled his conversation with Uhura, the sight of Spock with the young man Jim couldn't even remember the name of, and of course, his words to Spock.

_"Can Vulcans not love?"_

_"Vulcans can love."_

_"Oh. So you just don't love me, then?"_

Jim had walked away from Spock, then. He heard Spock's calls of his name, but refused to turn around. He just kept walking off into the night. Jim had really no idea how to get back to his dorm. They had been in a downtown area, one that he had only ever gone to with Raphael driving him and Spock there. Jim had wandered aimlessly in the cold for a while, certainly looking like a train wreck with his tear-stained face and formal clothing. Finally, Jim ha stumbled upon a bus stop with a route to Starfleet. He ignored the stares from the late night riders, keeping his head down and thinking of Spock. How had Jim allowed things to go wrong so quickly? 

When Jim had arrived back at the dorm that night, he realized he had forgotten his key. He knew Bones would be angry, but Jim was too much of a mess to be concerned. He knocked on the door three times, hearing the groans and grunts of Bones as he rolled out of bed and drug himself to the door. Bones opened it, scowl in full effect and ready to lecture Jim about being forgetful again, but saw the look on Jim's face and quickly thought better of it. He held the door open, opening his arms up, and Jim fell into them with a sob.

Here now, sitting on the bench with Spock, Jim cringed at the memory. He had been inconsolable for that first night, not even sure what he was so upset about. Bones had hugged him tightly and talked him through it before tucking Jim into bed and practically forcing him to sleep. Jim hadn't wanted to get up the next day, but he forced himself to return to normal. After all, Jim assumed Spock would be doing the same. Probably already arranging for a dinner with another boy like Jim.

"Jim?"

Like always, Spock's voice pulled Jim out of his thoughts. Jim shook himself from the flashbacks and focused on the way Spock was in front of him now, eyes practically staring into Jim's soul.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Was just thinking," Jim mumbled. Spock nodded, eyebrow slightly quirked in that worried expression he got sometimes. "Yeah," Jim went on. "Yeah, I remember what I said. I'm sorry, Spock, I really had no place to say that. We haven't known each other that long."

Spock shook his head. "You misunderstand. There is no need for an apology. I have melded our minds to show you that your statement was incorrect. You told me I do not feel love for you, but as you have seen in my own mind, I care greatly for you, Jim."

Jim was slightly speechless, unsure of what to say.

"We don't know each other that well," Jim said quietly. "I mean, I know I said I loved you- and God, I think I do- but it's almost like we've just met, Spock."

"You know me entirely," Spock countered. "I have shown you all I am; all I feel."

Jim thought of Spock's memories that had flooded his mind. He had seen Spock from infancy to adulthood, had seen himself through Spock's eyes. There was this feeling there, somewhere in the pit of Jim's heart and the back of his brain, that knew that there was something here. Something worth exploring.

'Why didn't you say it?" Jim asked. It was the question that had been on his mind; the one he was too afraid to voice. 

Spock frowned slightly. "I am not sure I know what you mean."

"Why didn't you say you loved me?" Jim clarified. "If everything in my head is true, why didn't you just say it then?"

Spock sighed. He reached a tentative hand out, taking Jim's in his own. Jim allowed him to intertwine their fingers together, Spock's thumb rubbing gently over Jim's palm. 

"The way that Vulcans love is entirely unique to our race," Spock began. "We do not date in a "casual" manner as humans might say. We mate for life. When we seek partners, we seek an individual whom we are willing to give ourselves to entirely and love for the span of our lives. It is a very powerful feeling, but it is also quite frightening. Because I have my mother's human blood in my veins, I feel stronger than most of my race. It is easier for me to succumb to those emotions and desires within me. I have taken great care to ensure I do not allow this emotional side of me to overpower my being. In order to do so, I have maintained the kinds of relationships that you and I have pursued. This was possible because I felt little for those I involved myself with. It was clear none of them were to be my mate, my thy'la, as Vulcans say. But, Jim..." Spock paused, squeezing Jim's hand where it was gripped in his. "You undo me entirely. I have nearly known from the moment I first laid eyes on you that you were to be someone special to me. Truthfully, it fills me with fear to feel the way I do for you. To love someone so quickly, so easily..." Spock trailed off.

Jim wasn't sure what to say, or what to think really. He had to turn away from Spock and stare at the grassy park ahead to avoid the intimidation of that dark gaze. To go from thinking Spock felt nothing for him to this was just... It was overwhelming. Jim had felt like he had been falling way too quick. There was something about Spock's presence in his life that overtook him. It had been devastating when the possibility of Spock not wanting him in the same way occurred to him. But here, Spock was offering Jim something he wasn't sure he even understood, let alone believe.

"I don't know what to say," Jim admitted, because he felt like he had to say _something_. He couldn't look back to Spock; he kept his gaze on the horizon, watching as various academy classmates walked by, oblivious to the scene on the bench.

"You do not have to say anything," Spock replied gently. "It is not needed for you to reciprocate my sentiments. Truthfully, I felt the need to say them largely for my own gain. Surely, it would have become unbearable if I had kept such things to myself."

"No, I-" Jim paused, trying to determine exactly what to say. His and Spock's relationship was hanging in the balance. He didn't want to voice the wrong feeling. "I feel things for you that I don't understand," Jim continued quietly. "But it's scary, too."

Spock hummed in agreement. Jim hadn't even realized that his hand was still held tightly in Spock's own. Spock gave it a gentle squeeze. "I understand your fear, Jim. I feel it, too. Whatever it is you wish to do- whether to continue contact with me or not- I will respect your wishes."

What were Jim's wishes? To be with Spock? Yes, that had been what he wanted just a few days ago. He was sure it was what he wanted now, but what were the odds of it working out? What Spock had described to him was permanence. If they were to pursue a relationship again, it would be a lifelong thing. The idea stressed Jim out. He had never been in many serious relationships, mostly casual things. He could understand how Spock felt, because he had never met anyone he ever seriously wanted to commit to, either.

And of course, the way he and Spock had met wasn't lost on Jim. Could it even be possible for a sugar daddy and sugar baby to fall in love and live happily ever after? Jim wanted to snort at how _Pretty Woman_ the whole thing sounded. This wasn't some cheesy romcom he would force Bones to watch on a Friday night. This was real life. Jim's life.

"Could I propose something?" Jim asked, turning back to look at Spock. God, he would never get over how those dark brown eyes practically bore into him, taking Jim for all he was.

"Anything," Spock answered. Jim could tell he meant it.

"Could we go out to dinner?"

"Yes, we could," Spock responded. "I will find somewhere to make reservations. Are you available this evening?"

"Yeah," Jim said. "But um, how about you let me pick the place?"

Spock thought for a brief moment before nodding his head. "Whatever you wish, ashaym."

Ignoring the pet name, Jim nodded. Perfect.

*********

And that's how they ended up at a tiny little taco shack.

Jim had nearly forgotten about Spock's vegetarian diet, but luckily he and Gaila's favorite spot served vegetable tacos as well. Jim had to stifle a slight laugh at the sight of Spock sitting in the slightly rundown off campus taco shop. He was wearing a sweater that was designer and would definitely cost more than the restaurant's entire menu combined. He certainly didn't fit in among the crowd of broke, slightly intoxicated academy students filling the tables around them.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Jim asked uncertainly after swallowing a greasy bite of taco.

Spock nodded. "I am satisfied with whatever makes you happy." And he appeared to be genuine. Spock was looking around curiously at the people around them, the cheap decorations hung on the walls, the grease-filled fryers in the kitchen. There didn't appear to be judgement on his face; just genuine curiosity. Jim suspected that Spock had never been in an establishment like this.

"Is the food good?" Jim asked. He wanted Spock to enjoy the meal, but he was also too wrapped up in the delicious taste of his definitely very unhealthy taco dinner.

"It is," Spock replied. Jim looked at his plate and saw it was nearly empty. He couldn't help but smile. "I was unaware there would be so much oil involved, though."

Jim laughed quietly. "Most good food is covered in grease, didn't you know that?"

Spock's lips quirked slightly. "I was unaware."

It was nice, sitting here with Spock like this. It didn't feel like a paid arrangement. It was like two people with genuine interest for one another on a date. 

"You dine here often?" Spock asked.

Jim nodded, taking a drink of his soda. "Yeah, me and my friend Gaila come here like every weekend. Sometimes we can talk Bones into it too, but he's usually against eating so unhealthy."

Spock frowned slightly. "You are friends with someone named 'Bones'?"

Jim chuckled. "That's Leonard. My roommate you met earlier."

"Why do you call him 'Bones'?" Spock asked. It was amusing how he looked genuinely deep in thought about this, like he was intently analyzing the origins of the nickname.

"He made this joke to me when we first met," Jim explained. "Something about how his wife took the whole planet in the divorce. All she left him were his bones."

"That does not sound like a fair or legal divorce arrangement," Spock murmured.

"It's a joke, Spock," Jim replied with a smile.

Spock returned a small one of his own. "Ah. I see."

They were quiet for a while, finishing their meals. Spock- ever the gentleman- wiped his hands politely on his napkin when he finished, only cringing slightly at the difficulty of getting the grease off of his fingers.

When the worker arrived to drop off their bill, Jim quickly pulled his wallet out of his uniform pocket and handed a couple bills to him before Spock could protest. "Keep the change."

Spock frowned. "That was not necessary, Jim."

"If we're going to date- like actually date- I want us to be on equal ground," Jim said. "That means you have to let me pay for dinner now and again."

Spock sighed, resigned. "If this is what you wish. I will be paying for our next meal, though."

Jim beamed slightly. "So there is going to be a next meal?"

"Has anything I have said to you today indicated otherwise?" Spock asked.

"Will there be others again?" Jim asked nervously.

Spock cocked his head slightly to the side. "You are asking if I will pursue other mates?"

Jim snorted slightly. God, why did Spock have to be so formal? Who really called their partners "mates" these days? But that wasn't the point.

Jim nodded. 

"If you and I are together, I will not pursue anyone else," Spock answered firmly. "If you do not wish to attempt a romantic relationship with me, yes I will probably see others, but I do not believe I would feel as strongly for them as I do you."

It was a strange feeling for Jim. He had never had someone confess love to him in this way. What person would value Jim Kirk of all people above anyone else? Let alone some rich, successful, and handsome scientist like Spock. Jim was waiting for the "April Fools" banner to fall down from the ceiling.

"Would we be dating like normal?" Jim asked. "Like you won't be paying me to be your date to random dinner parties?"

Spock let out an amused chuckle. "Well, I would gladly ask you to be my date anywhere, but I am afraid the monetary aspect would disappear."

Jim chuckled back. "That's unfortunate. I thought I made a decent rentboy."

"More than decent," Spock countered with a slight smirk. "Though I suspect you would be a much better partner."

Jim was quiet again, looking down at his lap and fiddling slightly with his hands. "Would your friends approve?" He asked without looking back up.

"It would not matter to me whether they did or not, but I would see no reason why they would not," Spock replied.

Jim did look up then. "What about Uhura? She seemed pretty disgusted by me."

Spock sighed, then shook his head. "You will have to forgive Nyota. She was not disgusted by you. She has an issue with speaking out of turn sometimes. Her anger was not with you, but with me and my treatment of past partners. If you are able to believe it, you should understand she was actually trying to protect you from my own foolishness."

It was hard to believe. Uhura- her first name was Nyota, according to Spock- had seemed pretty against the idea of Jim and Spock having anything to do with one another. "I thought she kind of wanted you to herself," Jim mumbled.

Spock actually laughed at that. Not just the rare chuckle that slipped out. A genuine laugh. "Nyota hardly wants me to herself. In fact, she would be delighted to rid herself of me. She is just a protective person is all."

Jim hummed. "I can understand that. Bones can be that way too."

Spock nodded in agreement. "Yes, I gathered that. He was quite adamant about his intentions if I were to hurt you."

Jim smiled sheepishly. "I hope he wasn't too aggressive." Bones had a tendency to act more like a dad than a friend to Jim. Must be those doctor instincts.

"Not at all," Spock answered, amusement still clear in his tone. "It is assuring to know you have a friend who values you so greatly. Additionally, Vulcans have great strength, so I find it hard to believe he would be able to cause sufficient physical harm to me."

"Well, he is a doctor," Jim mused. "He would probably know all the secret Vulcan pressure points."

Spock smiled. "I had not considered this."

They were quiet for a while, staring at one another. Finally, Jim broke the silence. 

"So where does that leave us?"

"I do not follow," Spock replied. 

'Well, I mean, is it official? Are we boyfriends? Or what exactly?" Jim asked with a blush. He felt like a teenager asking his crush out. Did people even still do this? Define relationships?

Spock met Jim's eyes with that powerful, but beautiful gaze. "Would you like us to be?"

Jim was quiet, nibbling on his lip. He swallowed the slight lump in his throat. "I don't know."

Spock reached across the table, grabbing Jim's hand in his. He pulled it up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to Jim's knuckles. "Then I will wait until you do."

Jim's heart swelled. 

The worker returned with their receipt, and thanked both men before gathering their empty plates and walking away.

"Would you like me to take you back to your dormitory, Jim?" Spock asked.

Jim blushed. He had kind of been hoping Spock would propose to take him somewhere else.

"If that's what you want," Jim mumbled.

"Your statement and tone indicate it is not what you want," Spock replied.

Damn observant Vulcan.

Jim sighed, his cheeks reddening further. "Um. Well, I don't know. I kind of thought you would want to go back to yours."

"Ah," Realization dawned on Spock, and a slight smirk came onto his face. "You would not wish to participate in such activities in your own bed?"

Jim snorted. "Not unless you want a grumpy doctor for an audience."

"My place then," Spock said.

Jim nodded eagerly in agreement.

*********

Riding in the car alone with Spock was an experience.

Every other time Jim had rode along with Spock, Raphael had been driving. But Spock himself had driven to Starfleet all on his own accord, and so Jim found himself sitting in the passenger seat beside him. Spock didn't have the radio playing, and Jim felt too awkward to command it on himself, so they sat mostly in silence, watching San Francisco pass by through the windows.

"Why didn't Raphael drive?" Jim asked, just for something to fill the silence with.

"It is his day off," Spock replied, not taking his eyes off the road ahead. "It can be pleasant to drive oneself as well." 

Jim just hummed, smiling slightly to himself at memories of hot wiring motorcycles and sneaking out with his stepdad's car late at night. He hadn't driven in forever; he couldn't afford a car of his own and if he ever needed to leave campus he just took a bus or shuttle or bummed a ride off Sulu, the only of his friends with a car.

As they approached the downtown area that Jim recognized from the last time he was in Spock's apartment, they came to a stop. Jim glanced over the dash to see that they had come to deadstop traffic.

Spock made a quiet, frustrated noise and glanced at the digital clock. "My apologies. I should have remembered the traffic at this time."

"It's alright," Jim replied, though he found himself tapping his foot a little anxiously. 

"I hope you are a patient person," Spock murmured. "We may be waiting for a while."

Jim was indeed not a very patient person. And he certainly wasn't patient when he was in a car with a handsome Vulcan who he was way too far in love with, and whom was perhaps way too far in love with too, on their way to have sex.

If this had been two weeks ago, there was no way Jim would be doing what he was. But the line of cars ahead looked never ending, and Jim was slightly high on the edge of the day; from the mind melding to Spock's declaration of love to whatever was going to happen in Spock's apartment when they finally arrived. 

Spock's eyes were still on the road, his eyebrow slightly furrowed like it did whenever he appeared to be thinking about something. Jim took a quick glance at him, then bit down on his lip before reaching for the button of his pants. He hadn't changed out of his Academy uniform. They had gone straight from the park to the restaurant, and Jim certainly wasn't going to stall going to Spock's or have to confront Bones by going back to his dorm for a change of clothes.

Spock didn't turn to look at him. He just drove forward slightly as traffic made a bit of progress. Jim almost stopped himself and reached to redo the button on his pants, but hell things were already going this far, weren't they?

Jim undid his zipper, a smooth glide that made just enough noise for Spock to glance over. "Jim?"

"Hmm?" Jim responded softly. He couldn't look over too much. He would surely get too flustered and end the whole thing. Jim pulled the red pants down slightly, just enough that he could grab the waistband of his black briefs as well. It was a little awkward maneuvering in the front seat of a car, but he made it work. Jim could hear Spock's sharp intake of breath as he pulled his briefs down as well, exposing his cock. He wasn't quite hard yet, but he was getting there; a small bead of precum on the tip.

"Sorry," Jim muttered. "Guess I'm not very patient."

Spock said nothing, just took another heavy breath and moved the car forward a bit more as traffic moved.

It was surely a gross thing to do in front of such a sophisticated man and in such a nice vehicle, but Jim had no lube, so he spit into the palm of his hand and wrapped it around his dick. He started slowly at first, just moving up and down the base to get himself hard. He could feel Spock's eyes, dark and hungry, looking at him sideways; torn between watching the road ahead and the show Jim was putting on in the seat next to him. Jim squeezed himself, making a groan in the back of his throat as he picked up his pace a little with the twist of his wrist.

This wasn't the first time he had touched himself in front of Spock. Jim shuddered slightly at the memory of him in Spock's bed, touching himself to Spock's command. But this was different. Jim felt like he had some power over this encounter. He was the one holding Spock here, making him want, making him watch. Jim couldn't help but reflect momentarily on how powerless he had been for the entirety of his and Spock's relationship. He was always the employee; the one being where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be. But here, this was Jim's show.

Jim couldn't help the little kitten whimper that escaped his mouth as he thumbed over the slit of his cock, then moved his hand from the tip to the base again, giving himself another squeeze. Spock was really watching him now, only glancing back at the road to inch forward.

"Sp-Spock," Jim whined, arching up into his own touch. 

"Hm?" Spock asked. Jim was surprised at how in control he sounded. Dammit. Jim had been hoping to take the power here.

"Can you-" Jim cut himself off with a particularly good twist of his hand.

"What do you need, Jim?" Spock's voice was laced with amusement.

"Need you to talk to me," Jim whimpered, stilling his hand on himself. "Please."

They were actually beginning to drive again, the evening traffic diminishing. Spock faced the road, both hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly Jim could see a faint green tint on his knuckles. 

"You are not behaving yourself very well, are you?" Spock asked, doing such a good job of feigning his disappointment that Jim moaned. "I asked for your patience as we waited through this traffic, and yet here you are. Touching yourself without asking."

"I'm sorry," Jim whined. His hand was racing up and down his cock, so turned on by the sound of Spock's voice. How could one have such an effect on him?

"I forgive you, Jim," Spock answered with that classic little smile of his. "It is flattering, actually. Knowing how deprived you have been of my attention."

"Spock-"

"Ah, ah," Spock tsked. "Seems in our separation you have forgotten your manners."

Jim frowned, trying to determine what Spock meant. It was very difficult for him to even focus with how close he was to spilling all over himself and the seat of Spock's car.

"Spock, please, can I-"

"Is that how you refer to me, Jim?" 

Ah. Jim got it now.

"Daddy, daddy, I'm gonna-"

"Go on, then."

The tip of Jim's cock burst, ropes of white landing on his pants, and some on Spock's dashboard. He moaned through it, incoherent callings of "daddy" and "please". Jim's eyes were squeezed shut, and he sat for a long moment, gathering his breath. 

"Jim?"

Jim spun his head, slightly dazed, to find Spock staring at him intently. He realized they had parked, somewhere in what he assumed was the parking garage of Spock's apartment. 

"You have made quite a mess, Jim."

Huh? Jim peeled his eyes away from Spock's and looked down to see not just his stained pants, but the evidence of his orgasm resting on the dashboard. He blushed furiously.

"You should clean it up, should you not?" Spock continued. "That would be polite."

Jim swallowed, but nodded his head. He used his fingers to scoop up the cum on his lap, and made a show out of licking them clean. He sucked them into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them like he would Spock's cock. The taste of his own seed was slightly bitter, but he had definitely had worse in his mouth. Next, Jim unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned forward to lap at the mess he made on the dash. He thought about using his fingers to scoop it up, but he thought Spock would find it hotter to see Jim bent over, licking up the remains of his mess directly. When Jim was done, he turned back to face Spock.

Spock was watching him hungrily. Before Jim could process it, Spock had firmly grabbed Jim by the head and smashed their lips together. Jim nearly gasped at first, but quickly gave in and allowed Spock's tongue to slide into his mouth. Jim moaned into it, allowing Spock to hold him in place and take what he wanted. Just as quickly as the kiss had begun, it was over, and Spock was pulling away from him.

Jim struggled to catch his breath, but Spock seemed as calm and collected as ever.

"Shall we?" Spock asked, gesturing with his head to the parking garage exit.

Jim licked his lips. He nodded.

*********

Jim thought back to the night he had snuck onto a sugar daddy finding website while Bones slept cluelessly in his bed.

The absolute chaos that had ensued from that point forward had been unexpected.

Jim was almost overwhelmed by how quickly things had gone astray, and he would probably be hyper analyzing his entire existence right now if it weren't for the feeling of Spock's mouth on his. They had both managed to remain civil walking through the lobby and the hallway, but the minute the door had shut, Jim was sprawled out on Spock's couch with the Vulcan on top of him, attacking his mouth. They went at it for a few minutes more, groping each other obscenely and licking into one another. It was only when Jim ground his hips up into Spock's (he was already hard again, he was known for his refractory period) that Spock pulled away. He stood, taking a few steps back and licking his lips as Jim lay panting lightly on the couch.

Jim sat up slightly with a small pout. "Why'd you stop?"

Spock took a deep breath. "It scares me how entirely you undo me."

Jim wasn't sure how to respond to that, but it made him giddy inside like a teenager. "Feeling's mutual," He murmured.

Spock chuckled softly. "Can you understand now? Why I was so hesitant to express my feelings? I have never been captivated by someone in this way. certainly not so quickly."

"You didn't feel this way about your other sugar babies?" It's kind of a low dig, and they've probably moved past it in their earlier conversation, but Jim has to know. Has to know that this isn't just an arrangement anymore. Has to know that they're moving from sugar daddy and sugar baby to something _real_.

Thankfully, Spock wasn't offended. He simply shook his head. "I have not felt this way about anyone."

That was more than enough for Jim, whose heart was racing. "Well?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't we gonna..." Jim made a gesture in the air with his hand. Sometimes it amazed him how he could yell at Spock about being in love with him, but struggled to ask the Vulcan to fuck him.

Spock's lips twitched. "You are quite insatiable, Jim."

"You love it," Jim countered.

Spock didn't argue. 

"I wish to take my time with you tonight," Spock said thoughtfully. "What is the human expression? To 'make love'"?

Jim gulped.

"Would you like that, Jim?"

"Uh, yeah, y-yeah, sounds good," Jim managed to get out, suddenly feeling way too warm still trapped in his red Starfleet uniform.

"Excellent," Spock replied, sounding genuinely pleased. "It would please me greatly if you could go to the bedroom and undress. I will meet you there."

Jim was quick to obey, rising to his feet and walking on shaky legs to Spock's bedroom, trying to ignore Spock's eyes following his back. When Jim got there, he turned around expecting to find Spock there, but he had wandered into the kitchen. Hm. Still, Jim had orders to follow. He unbuttoned his academy jacket, pulling it off and tossing it neatly onto the lounge chair in the corner of Spock's room. He pulled his undershirt over his head next, folding it quickly and placing it with his jacket. Next, he quickly undid his pants, kicking them and his briefs off, then putting them on the chair as well. Spock still hadn't come into the room, so Jim went to sit awkwardly on the edge of the bed, doing his best to ignore his hard cock hitting his stomach as he did so.

Finally, Spock entered. He had removed his sweater, and was standing shirtless in the doorway with just his slacks on. His lips were slightly moist, as though he had been drinking something. Jim assumed that's what he was doing in the kitchen.

"Good boy," Spock praised, eyeing Jim's naked body up and down.

"Thank you," Jim blushed, looking down.

Spock approached him, crouching slightly down to kiss Jim again. Jim's hands wrapped easily around Spock's neck, trying to pull the Vulcan in as close as possible. Spock's lips were always so soft, and they moved so smoothly against Jim's own. Spock held one hand on the side of Jim's neck, the other on his side. Jim shivered at the feeling of Spock's nimble fingers on his bare ribs. Spock was being slow, gentle. It was nice, but Jim was getting impatient. He tried to pull Spock down with two hands on Spock's shoulders, but Spock just pulled back easily.

"Patience, slor veh," Spock said gently. "You remember what I have said? I wish to take my time with you tonight."

Jim whined, but nodded his head. "Whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want."

Spock pecked Jim's cheek. "I know you will."

Jim wanted to whine again when Spock pulled away from him completely, but he held it in. Spock walked around the side of the bed, going to the bedside table. He pulled the drawer open and grabbed the familiar bottle of lube out of it. He walked back around to the front of the bed.

"Sit back on the bed, ha'su," He instructed. Jim obeyed, scrambling back quickly up onto the bed and resting on the many pillows Spock had there. Spock let out a quiet laugh at Jim's eagerness.

Spock got onto the bed after him, propping himself up on his elbows and allowing his legs to hang off the front. He gently nudged Jim's legs open, and Jim complied. Spock ran his tongue over his bottom lip at the sight of Jim naked and spread out on the bed like this for him. Jim's face only reddened deeper at the feeling of Spock's gaze on his body. Spock reached a hand up to toy with Jim's cock, using the pre-cum dripping from it to help stroke Jim up and down slowly a couple times. Jim whimpered, bucking up into it. Spock released him, moving his hands downwards to spread Jim's cheeks and admire that pink hole. Jim tried to buck down, but Spock held him still easily with one hand on his hip.

Spock took mercy on him and popped open the cap on the lube. He poured a decent amount onto one finger. He spread Jim's cheeks again, pushing the digit into Jim slowly. Jim groaned at the feeling, barely resisting the urge to buck down again. He would _try_ to be good at least. Spock pushed the finger in to the knuckle, twisting it around until he found that bundle of nerves. Jim moaned at the feeling, writhing slightly but otherwise managing to keep still. Spock placed a couple gentle kisses to the inside of Jim's thighs. He pulled out, lubing up another finger and sliding both into Jim's entrance. 

"Spoooock," Jim whimpered.

Spock tutted. "Do we need to go over this again, Jim?"

Jim was already getting lost in the pleasure, but he knew what Spock meant. "N-no, I'm sorry, daddy." 

Spock rewarded him with a stroke to his cock and a twist of his fingers inside of Jim. Jim moaned louder, thrusting down onto the fingers. Spock allowed him, keeping his free hand resting lightly on Jim's stomach. He continued to work Jim, scissoring the two fingers inside of him and making the younger man cry out and twist his hips desperately for more. Spock began to nibble and lick at Jim's thighs, nearly causing Jim to see stars.

"Please, daddy," Jim cried. "Need more."

Spock chuckled darkly against Jim's skin, where he was currently leaving a nice purple bruise. "You need another finger, slor veh?"

Jim shook his head. "Need your cock. Please, please..." He groaned at another twist of Spock's fingers.

"Well, since you asked so nicely."

Jim whimpered at the loss as Spock removed his fingers, but let out a moan at the sight of Spock removing his pants and underwear. Once Spock was fully undressed, he reached for the bottle of lube once again. He squirted more onto his hand, stroking up and down his green-tinted cock, which was hard and sticking outward, leaking natural lubricant. Jim felt like exploding at the sight. Spock climbed back onto the bed, kneeling on it and pushing Jim a little further back into the pillows. He grabbed Jim by one leg, pulling it over his broad shoulder. Jim helped by placing the other leg on the opposite shoulder, spreading himself as far as he could.

Jim attempted to press down on the feeling of the head of Spock's cock poking at his entrance, but Spock held him still once more with two firm hands on either of Jim's hips. Spock slid in slowly, and both men let out groans of pleasure. Spock pushed all the way in, waiting until he was bottomed out. The only sounds in the room were both of their heavy breathing.

"Ask me."

Jim's eyes snapped up to Spock's face. "Hmmm?" He was already slightly dazed even though all that had happened was some fingering.

"Ask me for what you want, vaksurik," Spock continued, pressing a quick and sweet kiss to Jim's lips.

Jim whined, attempting to grind down onto Spock's cock in lieu of an answer. Spock just tutted, and shook his head. "Verbally, please."

Jim groaned, but complied. "Fuck me. Please, daddy. Fuck me."

Spock actually grinned. "Well when you ask so nicely, how could I refuse?"

Spock pulled all the way out, then slammed back in. Jim cried out, legs digging into Spock's shoulder blades and hands coming up to clutch desperately at Spock's biceps. Spock gave a few more harsh thrusts- hitting Jim right in that sweet spot- before slowing the pace down a little. He held Jim lightly by his sides, bowing his head so their foreheads were pressed together, thrusting slowly in and out of the blonde. It was slow and gentle, but Spock was large and the head of his cock hit Jim's prostate with each stroke. Jim was moaning quietly, while Spock was making little grunts.

"Spock."

"Hm?"

"Show me," Jim gasped out on a particularly well-angled thrust. "Your mind. Show me, please. Daddy."

Spock looked skeptical at first, but he removed one hand from Jim's side to place on his forehead. Just like that, Jim was overcome with Spock's thoughts and feelings. He could not just see Spock moving above him, but he could see himself as Spock was seeing him, writhing and moaning on the bed with blonde hair stuck to his forehead by sweat. He could feel both Spock moving in and out of him, hitting that spot deep inside him, and he could also feel the way his tightness and warmth felt around Spock's cock. 

Not only were the physical feelings there, but so were the emotions. The genuine _love_ and adoration Spock held for Jim was clear in his thoughts. Jim projected back both the pleasure Spock was bringing him, and Jim's own feelings for Spock. 

_I love you, I love you, I love you so much..._

Jim wasn't aware he had mentally projected those words, but he had. Spock was responding back with a chant of _t'nash-veh, t'nash-veh, nash-veh ashaya du_

Jim didn't speak Vulcan, but the words came to his mind with translations: mine, mine, I love you...

The feeling of being fucked and of having Spock so strongly in his mind were sending Jim over the edge. He wouldn't last much longer. He cried out, nails digging into Spock's arms probably strong enough to draw blood. 

"Daddy, please daddy, I'm gonna come, please please, I love you, let me come..." Jim was a moaning mess, babbling to no end.

Spock chuckled, kissing Jim soothingly. "Yes, ashayam, yes, come for me..."

And Jim needed nothing else. He thrust off the bed, cock spurting and streaming white on both his and Spock's chests. It was only a couple thrusts later that Spock was following suit, pressing his head to Jim's heart and spilling inside of him.

When they were done, Spock practically collapsed onto Jim's chest, clearly not minding the sticky feeling of Jim's orgasm squishing between them. Spock stayed inside Jim, and the two held on to one another, breathing heavily into the quiet room. Jim couldn't really hear Spock talking in his mind, but he could still feel the light presence of Spock's mind against his own.

Finally, Spock pulled out. Both of them hissed slightly at the feeling. Jim was too tired and boneless to move, but Spock climbed off the bed and wandered into the bathroom. Jim lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Spock. 

He loved Spock so much, so truly. 

Spock returned with a clean stomach, a new pair of briefs, and a wet cloth. He used the wet cloth to wipe at Jim's chest and stomach, and Jim whimpered at the overstimulated feeling of Spock wiping the area around his cock clean. Spock went to rid of the wet cloth, and came back to Jim still in the same position.

"Have I broken you?" Spock asked in an amused voice.

"I fear you may have," Jim grinned.

Spock returned the grin. He placed strong arms under Jim, lifting him up briefly so that Spock could pull the covers out for the both of them. He pushed Jim gently under the comforter, sliding in beside him and pulling the younger man to his chest. Jim snuggled into Spock, inhaling his scent. 

"There are still some things we must discuss," Spock said quietly into Jim's hair.

Jim turned slightly, resting his chin on Spock's chest and staring into his dark eyes. "Like what?"

"I have been offered a position," Spock answered. "By Captain Pike. Aboard the Enterprise as a science officer. I was going to accept, but now it seems I should stay here to devote my time to you."

Holy shit. What were the odds?

"Spock-"

"Jim, do not protest, please."

Jim shook his head, smiling. "Spock, I was offered a position on the Enterprise, too."

Spock furrowed his brows, looking down at Jim curiously. "You are serious?"

Jim nodded happily. "Pike asked me to be his first officer. That's the meeting I was having with him, when you came to find me."

Spock smiled, genuinely smiled. "This is no surprise. You are an excellent student."

"You don't know that," Jim said with an eye roll.

"I believe I do," Spock said seriously.

Jim didn't argue. Instead, he asked, "So are you going to take it, then? The job on the Enterprise?"

Spock tilted his head, thinking. "Are you going to accept the first officer position?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

Spock hummed. "Well, then I suppose it would be foolish of me to not."

Jim beamed, grabbing Spock's face with his hands and kissing him. Spock kissed back.

"Does that make me your boss then?" Jim asked with a grin. 

It was Spock's turn to roll his eyes. "Hardly. Captain Pike is my boss. I fear you would be quite the tyrant if you were given such authority."

Jim laughed. 

There was quiet again, the two just laying held in each other's arms.

"I never thought this would happen," Jim said quietly, laying his head back down against Spock's chest. Spock pet his hair gently. "I thought it was just a quick gig. Not _Pretty Woman_."

"What is 'Pretty Woman'"? Spock asked.

Jim smiled. "It's a movie. I'll show you sometime."

Spock hummed. "There are many things we will have to show one another."

"It's a good thing we have time," Jim murmured. "Maybe we can room together on the Enterprise."

"Perhaps," Spock replied. "Though you would surely distract me greatly from my duties."

"I can't help it."

"No," Spock agreed, "You cannot. It just comes naturally to you."

"What were you saying earlier today?" Jim asked, because he wanted to know. "About Vulcans mating for life?"

Spock was quiet. Then, he said, "You have not heard of pon farr?"

Jim shook his head against Spock's chest.

"It is the Vulcan mating ceremony," Spock explained. "There is much to it. I worry about explaining it to you. I do not want to scare you off."

Jim snorted. "I fell in love with my sugar daddy. What could really scare me off?"

Spock frowned slightly, but just kissed Jim's temple. "We will see how you feel soon."

"Guess we will."

Jim remained cuddled into Spock, rejoicing in the feeling of the Vulcan's strong arms holding him tightly. There was so much to come in the future. There were so many things to deal with. Bones, Nyota, the Enterprise, pon farr. All things seemed like far and distant concerns when Jim was safe like this in bed with Spock.

"I love you," Jim said, just to hear it.

"And I love you, ashayam."

The word resonated in Jim's skull: _beloved_

Another word was pushing at the back of Jim's mind. 

_t'hy'la_

"Spock?"

"Hmm?"

"What is t'hy'la?"

Spock hesitated, before answering, "It is not a word you must know yet."

"When?"

"Soon."

"You promise?"

"I promise, Jim."

That was enough for Jim. 

Exhaustion began to overtake him, and Spock commanded the lights off. Jim's world narrowed to the sounds of their breathing, to the beating of their hearts, to the presence of their minds melded slightly to one another.

Jim couldn't tell you how he got there. He couldn't tell you where he was going.

All he knew in that moment was he was in Spock's arms. And he never wished to be anywhere else.

**_fin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience with me and for your support and feedback on this work. It means the world.
> 
> As I said, I definitely plan on editing this or posting a new version of the story at some point, but I wanted this ending to be out there for you all. Stay tuned for the revised story with a slightly different timeline and more details.
> 
> Last but not least, here's your usual Vulcan translations:
> 
> _ashayam_ = beloved
> 
> _slor veh_ = sweet one
> 
> _ha'su_ = angel
> 
> _vasurik_ = beautiful
> 
> _t'hy'la_ = soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> This is really my first major work so any feedback is appreciated. Planning on turning this into a multiple chapter work.


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